So quickly draining away. If you could only hear all the things you used to say. Consumed now by what you knew was poisonous, quenching your thirst for life. --- School days until May 28: Three more fucking days and then it shall all be over, for two and a half months at least. -ponders- If I had somewhat of a life, I would speak now of what I did with the friends I do not have over the weekend. But, I do not have a life away from the computer and I have scarce amount of friends that I even see away from school, and even then we only do it a few times throughout the year anyway. Hm, Sunday since John did not know what he wanted for his birthday when it was only on the following day we went up to the mall for him to go into the sports stores and pick out a jersey. Oh, and guess who he got? Only one of the stupidest people to go straight from high school into the professional league. Yeah, so I went into Hot Topic to see if they had any of the AFI E.P.'s since I seemed to have lost all of the ones I did have. I ended up buying another AFI tee, the A Fire Inside E.P. and two HIM post cards for when I decorate my binder next year. Fun, yes? No, none at all. Monday was John's birthday. He is now thirteen, an official teenager. -twirls finger- Big woop di do! Oh, I did however get told by my "friends" that I should just go ahead and kill myself since I continue to cut when we got into an argument on Friday night. Causing Jess to cry so hard that it hurt to do so anymore and add five new cuts to the growing collection. I would go more into detail over what was said, but honestly it would make no difference for everything has been said and explaining will not take away the harshness left. Or the fact that I should just stay a loner in school and elsewhere. Yeah, I should really shove a pillow down my throat and cry to it. I will try and now look at the better and positive things of the past few days......... There is no fucking bloody good things! I can give you one: I WILL BE DONE SCHOOL BY THIS FRIDAY AND I HAVE NO MORE GEOMETRY FOR A VERY LONG TIME! There, I have said it and yelled it and repeated those words to me several times in an effort to know that everything will be over soon, all the people will be gone for two months. No more stupid drama, no more annoying teachers prying to know what is wrong. No more spectators to see you cry. No more annoying giggles on the bus. No more worries. NADA can go wrong over the summer once I change my screenname to something no one from school knows. I am taking Child Development exam tomorrow and exempting Geometry since I would have failed that exam and the class if I was to take it. So I am getting checked out and going to be walking over to Arby's with money from my mother and then she will pick me up and take me home or I can go to her "beach party" with her preschool kids. I doubt I want to do that. And now to conclude... Rant: This girl, who goes by the name of Alicia Kee rides my bus and sits behind me in Spanish used that comb thing with the color and made her whole head red, when really I always thought it was just to highlight it. So me and David were talking about her hair on the bus, purposely speaking loud enough so that if they were to stop giggling for a few minutes they could hear. We were saying that it was uglier than dog shit and that she was trying too hard to be original or punk and then after they heard all of it, as at least one of the freshmen back there is intelligent and hushed them we ended it with hoping that it was not permenanet[sp] or I would wear a hat to not look like such a poser. Bwahaha! And the best part about it? She did not say anything, but just glared at us and then whispered amongst her so-called friends on the bus. And whenever she talks in Spanish I tell her to shut up, most of the time it gets me in trouble, for example I now have detention on Friday morning. Two detentions on one day, the last day. Stupid blighters.. but my hate for her is just that much. That really was not much of a rant, I blame the approach of the end. I stop working the brain at this time. Rave: Just because nothing else was the least bit exciting, I will repeat myself again. I only have three more school days to complete. I get to get checked out tomorrow after my super easy Child Development exam and come home and watch movies and eat food, even though we have a scarce amount at home in the snack cabinet. I have three more days left and even though I am taking exams that count for twenty percent of the final grade. I am still bloody excited and why the hell should I not be? I am to be considered an upperclassmen next year and it brings myself one year closer to finally leaving the place called highschool, so eat that, all the people whom have made me feel the worst this year. And I love how this is one of my shorter entries. Do you not love it too? Your weakness kills everyone, so live. -_- Kill aspirations away. Embrace a dream that was a nightmare only yesterday. True friends forgotten and all hope's been traded in exchanging them all for what? All at once, all is lost. All is lost.