There's a game life plays makes you think you're everything they ever said you were... --- School days until May 28: 22 Days.. Five days since the date of Friday - the longest in which I have gone from the internet without a reason given by my mother. No, this time it would be the cursed device by the name of a computer and dial-up internet. Windows XP and People PC internet have made my days after school very frustrating and longer than normal without the computer/internet. Yes, I would be addicted and I would not be denying it. Not that anyone really cared that I had departed or gone for such an elongated time from this site. So why bother explaining to you the reasons why I did not get on even when it did start working again on Sunday. What occurred from Friday to Wednesday? -thinks- There was the whole day spent outside in the pool with John, Zack, Jordan, Tony, and Nick after attending John's game which did not be too great. I went up into the score box place since no one was there and the sun was starting to make me cry. So all was well and quiet until this stupid little annoying kid by the name of Chase came up and kept asking questions and soon found out that I did not believe in God and continued to ask why and then he asked why I dressed in all black, asking if I was trying to become a "gothic" and I told him he would not know what a goth was if it bit him in the ass. After many more flooding of questions he got out and locked me inside the place from the outside. So to get down I had to jump out of the window and ended up getting a good five inch cut on my elbow, unintentionally. Hurts like a bitch. I also got my haircut so now it is short enough for me to spike and mohawk. I do want my "I got a haircut" sticker though because I sat in a chair for an hour and a half while she cut it which included cutting part of my ear which itches after it scabbed over and each time that the scab breaks it bleeds. I did not even notice it until I felt the cut after I left. I had to sit in that chair for a very long time listening to the worst elevator music ever, the two women talking to each other in a foreign language of an Asian country and bleeding I would assume. So yes, I want my sticker for I feel that I SO deserve it. As I have said many times before, we always go back to our old ways and this weekend the emotions were much too strong, another reason why I did not put an entry on here for so long. As a reminder I have ten new cuts against my ankles, all of which bled out for a good hour. I also burned a safety pin and now have a design of a spider located on my inner arm and after last night the words alone are now on the bottom of my foot. Everyone asked why I was limping and I just told them I fell into the pool and hit it on the ledge. Yes, I only pretend to be better and that I shall never cut again. They were all lies though, everything is. Thing that annoyed me today: This kid in math class today said that if you because I am a white girl that even if I have sex with a black guy and it is consensual that I can say it was rape and people will believe me and arrest him even if there is a lack of evidence. But that if it was a black woman who had sex with a white man that no one would believe her. What kind of fucking bullshit is that? I mean, I know African-Americans deal with racism and discrimination but I no longer understand what gives them the right to be just as racist towards other ethnic groups. Not just the whites but latinos and all those other things. I mean they are the minorities as well are they not? He was of course talking about the highschool thing where the kid raped this girl and from what SHE described it was near impossible that he did it at all so I told him that much but he just ignored me. And then I yelled to him. "She was scared of what would come if she did have consensual sex with a black man! So she LIED!" And the whole class stared at me and then the kid and myself had to stand outside in the hall for a good fifteen minutes, the whole time we were arguing over race. -sigh- I am not racist or discriminate against anyone for mentally I do not see how anyone could do such a thing as I have seen my own fair share of it. /End/ May you think, because without it we are nothing.. -_- Was it life I betrayed from the shape that I'm in? It's not hard to fail it's not easy to win. There's nothing left but wasted years..