I can't remember when it was good moments of happiness elude. Maybe I just misunderstood all of the love we left behind. Watching the flash back intertwine. Memories I will never find. And I 'll feel my world crumbling. I'll feel my soul crumbling away and falling away. Falling away with you... Today, is the day that I must say goodbye to Moneca. Last time we spent time together, no much was said between us and I was on their computer downstairs and she was on hers and it was the same way when she came to my house. This year, we spoke of the actual things that I like to voice my opinion too and actually have someone listen/agree with me. So no, the ten days were not spent discussing hair [unless it involved how I am to dye my hair next], how "hott" guys are; well when she was looking through my yearbook she did that; but who doesn't? She let me speak about the idiot of a President we are faced with, gays, school, war, Jesus/God without interrupting me about being wrong and to stop hating everything. I did the same for her. I think she is the first friend [in face to face conversation] that has actually agreed with me in almost everything that I have disagreed with and despised; even people. For those that really do not know, Moneca [Monica is real name] has been in my life as a friend probably before we were able to walk, though at the time we really were not friends; just our parents. Then pre-school came and we were unseparable in that time and in kindergarten until I had to Catholic school for 1st and 2nd grade. What I really mean to say is that, in the movies, those people's best friends who have known each other since grade school, that would be us. Except we really are not that close as they are. Also, what I meant by these sentences is that I will miss her once she does leave on that plane to return back to her home in Philly [well she moved out of Philly and now resides in Ben Salem, but it is only 30 minutes or so from where we used to live anyway.] Never have I spoken these words about friends about over the summer or when Jessie moved, the only exception was Courtny and now she is not even speaking to me through phone, email, IM - any form of it. It was time well spent... I found myself laughing in addition to making the very unusual jokes for the first time and having some meaning behind it for the first time in a few months. So, this is my goodbye to Precious... ^.^ Sunday, we found ourselves eating at Olive Garden so I could have myself some of those wicked awesome breadsticks of their's. Afterwards we went over to Media Play so the 48 dollars I had in my wallet could disappear; which it did. I bought three CDs: Muse, Bleeding Through, Placebo and Moneca wanted A Perfect Circle and Coheed & Camrbia, but they did not have Co & Ca so she ended up getting A Perfect Circle and Benny and Joon on DVD. Heh, we watched it on the car ride back home and I must have done something good in getting her to actually like it enough to purchase it. More things that have rubbed off on us since we have spent a good three weeks with each other? I now find myself a watcher of that Joe Schmo show, she finds herself watching Monk and also Conan every night when he comes on the tele. ^.^ I just cannot help but smile when this happens. I guess just because for once, someone actually took part in things I enjoy without giving excuses as to why they will not watch/do or even enjoy it, or even having me to convince them of things. I gave up on that when I try to explain to my "friends" at school why rock and metal are music as compared to their rap or Christian music choices. Also, on Friday we found ourselves sitting in attendance to some Fayette Idol event, it was quite boring as the MC was this supposed stand-up comic, but he told really stupid and lame jokes and ended up hitting on the young fourteen-year-old girls, even if they did not look fourteen to begin with; still incredibly disgusting and pedophile material. We got bored after we found out who the five finalists were and walked over to the "carnival" that was ocurring. There was not much excitement to it, I did see John [not brother, kid from Biology class]. Hah. Moneca did not like him, I cannot help but stare at the kid. I guess he is just one of those people that personality makes him so much better looking, in addition to music choices. He was grrreat to talk about guitars and bands with. We were supposed to go to the Battle of the Bands at the same place the stupid Idol thing was held, but there was nothing there when we went at five when it said it was scheduled. That pissed me off... Anyone located in Georgia wants to go with me in attendance to Conyers next Wednesday for their Battle of the Bands they have? Hah. I found out the phone number and directions for the American Tavern, where it is held, a week late... Also, on Sunday we went to some Deli/Pub called Loco's and I was wearing my heartagram shirt and the girl that was showing us to our table turns around and says "I like your shirt." I give the usual non-meant thanks and then next thing she asks is: "Do you like Bam or HIM?" What the deuce? Bam is NOT part of the band so why even bother asking that. And if I did like Bam I would wear an effin Bam shirt not the symbol of a BAND. Grrr... This is why I hate Georgia, I am constantly faced and surrounded in idiocy. She then went on to explain that she is obsessed with the lead singer and has pictures of him all over her car and room and even some post cards that she got at Hot Topic.... I asked her if she knew his name and she just shrugged and giggled. "Who cares? He's hott!!" I wanted to strangle her right there on the spot. As I was complaining of this to Monica, my mom just said "she was trying to be friendly, Jess. Let it go." The one waitor guy was extremely nice looking though, that was the ONE good thing about the place and the experiences inside it. I wanted his earrings, but my mother said no to getting my ears stretched. Why? I still do not know as to the reason for her saying no... Pfft. I want piercings and tattoos, but my mother keeps saying no except for the lip piercing when I turn 16. This is the time I wish that I was just three years older; did I mention how much I hate you for this reason alone, Attila? Of course I have... Oh! Also, because I love these questions I am to finish each entry starting with this one with a "Would you rather..." question that I have gotten from the Zobmondo game. It is a wicked awesome game and very fun to play, or just read the questions since some of them are very hard to choose. So yes, I expect you to answer the question; either with the simple I would choose that or explain why or why not. Do I care? No. Just as long as you answer it. That is not too much is it? Would you rather... Be imprisoned for murder with the public thinking you didn't do it -OR- remain free with the public thinking you did? -_- Staying awake to chase a dream, tasting the air you're breathing in. I know you won't forget a thing. Promise to hold you close, watching the fantasies decay. Nothing will ever stay the same. All of the love we threw away, all of the hopes we cherished fade. Making the same mistakes again...