See all those people on the gound wasting time. I try to hold it all inside, but just for tonight. The top of the world sitting here wishing. The things I've become, that something is missing. But what do I know? --- So, first to update about the wonderful things the mother has made me do in the past days... 1.) I have no idea when I even signed up to get emails from Hot Topic but there was one, right in my mail box and they showed a picture of camoflauge converse that I have been wanting since I saw a pair in the Journey store up at the mall in Philadelphia, so I ask if she will buy them and I have to make this deal with her that I will walk every fucking day of the summer and she will buy me those shoes. Sadly, I want the shoes that much that I actually agreed and even when I had a killer headache and the worst stomach pains tonight she still made me go walk for thirty fucking minutes. 2.) Summer means sleeping in as there is no purpose to be awakened by an alarm clock or anyone for that matter, as there is no school to attend. She has yet to let me sleep past 12 saying that I have all ready slept the morning away and I am not going to do the same with the afernoon. It is not like when I am awake I am going to be doing anything effective to begin with. The past three days have been spent watching movies, playing Mario Party 4 on Nick's Gamecube that he got for his birthday present and this thing called the computer. So why does she still insist on waking me up so that I cannot 'waste' the afternoon away when obviously I do that everyday as it is. -sigh- I really tried to understand what she meant by these weird rules, but I got nowhere in my searching. I need a good book suggestion, I mean absolutely "mind-fucking" awesome books. I would hope that people on here actually do know of those kinds of books and then would be able to pass the titles along to me. I realized that I would need at least two books before we depart for Pensacola since there is only so much you can do at a hotel, not by the beach, by me onesies in addition to the drive up to Philly after that. So, again, I ask that in your comments that you recommend to Armand, at least one book that was absolutely amazing. ^.^ Katilyn, the cheerleader who in athleticly speaking is good at nothing apart from her cheering came over to my house on Tuesday afternoon and I was playing basketball with John out of boredom and she goes and stands at a very lengthy distance from the hoop and bets that if she makes it from where she stands then I would have to go with her that night to her youth group meeting and that if she did not make it then I would get 50 bucks and she would dye her hair the color of Hunter's. [Hunter=bassist of AFI you fucking morons who did not know. And his hair is dyed to a blonde that is so very light it looks white. Katilyn makes fun of it everytime she looks to pictures so that is why it was brought up.] And did she make it? Why, of course she did! So Jess was forced to go to that cursed church/youth group thing with her and if I did not then the Slayer CD I lent to her brother that she has in her house, would never be returned. Curse my luck, or lack of it. The whole 'meeting' sucked as I had to listen to readings of bible verses and the talk of how God had affected them in their lives and why Jesus was their Savior, and what it meant to them and everyone raised their hands to say they would die for Jesus Christ. Of course, I did not raise my hand or when the bible was handed to me I just passed it to the next person, basically I did not participate at all which called even more attention to myself until Katilyn finally told them all herself that I was atheist. HAH! The reaction out of them was one of the better ones ever. There was then a 30 minute discussion over my choice, where criticism was really all I faced. The highlight, if you will, of the night was when they started discussing homosexuality and gay marriage.[One of the girl's brother was gay. -GASP- and she started crying because of it. Crying because her brother "came out" to them and she always thought he was better than that!] Of course, they spoke of the usual the Bible says its a sin and that only a women and a man should wed and the usual things that have been brought up by HOMOPHOBES. Honestly, the Christians who say they do not accept homosexuality because the bible says it is a sin are nothing but homophobes themselves. I am not saying that I am a homosexual in anyway, but I would never find myself thinking less of someone just based on their sexuality alone. So why do so many people have a problem with this new coming of age way to living? I await a reason that does not involve the bible, for I have yet to get one, from anyone. I finally spoke up though and asked. "What about all men are created equal? Do you not accept and believe that?" And suprise suprise they all answered yes. So then when I pointed out clearly that those words apply to homosexuals as well, seeing as how when man is used it is in referrance to the human race, and every human is equal no matter what their religious or sexual preferences are. They all stared at me and went back to the old Bible says this argument and after listening for quite some time again, I finally spoke up, these were the last words I asked of them before I walked out. "You accept the Bible's words over what this country was based and founded on? You said earlier that you are PROUD of this country and would live no where else and yet you ignore the Articles of Confederation or wherever the All Men Are Created Equal is written and you continue to argue in the sake of the Bible. For once, when giving an argument or debate, make some intelligence in your speaking by keeping religion out of the fucking way and stop relying on it to make your points!" And then I left... I think religion has blinded many people, it sucked being in Debate class and they kept bringing up things from the Bible to me and when I could not answer their questions without saying a degrading name to them I am the one that ends up failing the class. Why? Because I have never read the bible and sorry for not knowing the things in which it states or the "rules" in which it gives or any of those worthless things. They cannot argue you the death penalty without bringing up "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." Again, in attempts to debate, one is blinded by the religion in which they belong to. Tomorrow I am supposed to be getting the whole pink hair, I do not know if it will turn out how I want it to since the lady kept going on and on about it not being bright and my hair being too dark. I thought she was just going to bleach it and then add the color, but she said some shit like lifting off my dyed black color and then putting the pink. -shrug- If it turns out really horrible there is such thing as dye and it will go back to being black. She was really confusing, and she burned my neck with the blowdryer when she did the strand test not that I could complain, but usually when I get burned it is by my own doing with my own blowdryer or lighter, not someone else's doing. Three or more hours inside the hair place... How much fucking fun that is going to be. Nick turns 10 tomorrow too. Big Woop di Do. Also, Mr. Johnny Depp turned 41 on this fine day. Nick and me made cupcakes just because we got free cake mix last night so might as well make them and give some reason to doing so. I watched Sleepy Hollow, Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood and Donnie Brasco so far. And to say it to make it out that I care, well I do for some, but not most, have great days ahead for all of you. I laugh at those still in school and for those that are not, go drink some vegan smoothies, made with chocolate soy milk all day tomorrow. Mmm.. ^.^ This is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. -_- And now it seems I have found nothing at all. I want to hear your voice out loud, slow it down. Without it all, I'm choking on nothing. It's clear in my head, I'm screaming for something. Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all...