I don't fall how you fall I won't hold on, you can't let go... Secret Window release: Finally, at last, it has come to this day and I will be departing for it at the time of 5 this evening. Yayness! --- Yes, the changes had to occur for I do not feel right without it in frequent occurrences. This is also a much better change for the better maybe? Gah! I am in reference to a 'diary' then I guess the time to shut up is now... Benn is no longer coming back, his parents have changed their minds and the only reason I know for this is: Mark. I really do despise that very being, you would only expect this of the males whom I date, but it will never come to that point in our years of knowing each other. Not that I would ever want such a thing. The better news to support this as for once, there is one, I received my driving permit on Wednesday. Yes, so now for one year and a day I must "learn" how to drive before I go and get my license. As my mother put it - a very scary thought for me to be driving. I, who ran into a mailbox and took off a pair of wooden steps while driving the go-cart and I who ran into a telephone pole while accessing the lawn mower. Drivers beware: Jess now has access to the road! Went to the dermatologist Thursday and informed them that I had been depressed not just from the medication so I believe it is the first step to telling my mom what really has been going on. It felt awkward answering the questions about social things with my mom there. Got called a freak Thursday because on my knuckles I have the words written 'Love is Hate' from left to right and when someone demanded to know what it meant I would not as it would be too complex for their minds so that was what was said in direction of me. Also my so called "friends" said the way I acted, dressed, music I listened to was all a phase and by next year I would be back to normalness whatever the fuck that is. Steven told me I led a cliché life in that I followed what everyone else did, would it be wrong of me to get pissed off at that? For I have sworn off all those kinds of things for being like anyone else is not what I intend to do, though I must be for continuing to update and type this thing. How I hate that no matter what I say or do it somehow contradicts the other. Oh what else was remarked on me? The fact that I should not dye my hair black again, that I was a grunge and should go hang out with those people and because as they discuss the same issues three times in two days and I tell them to shut up I just get told to go back to "my world." I no longer know what is left as a joke or meant to be taken seriously.. Sadly, the week-and-a-half Depp Film Festival that was gladly hosted by Jess comes to an end yesterday with: Edward Scissorhands [Everything seems to come to an end, only to be replaced by the worst things..] May you always think even if nothing comes out of it.. -_- I don't cry how you cry there's nothing left in me...