I'm not a perfect person there are many things I wish I didn't do... No more counting, why must they end? --- It is not that I do not have the factual support or cowarding from the little discussion that may be on pursuit, I honestly, no lies behind this - do not want to even begin to speak of the whole religion and homosexuality issue with anyone. Personal lives and thoughts have interferred and brought me down even further than before, I no longer have the patience or ability to go on with those things. [This in the direction of the username lastchance4sanity, or something like that] So I let it remain at how it was, you think how you choose and I will continue to think the way I have for a long time now with the constant persons trying to change it.. I thank you, if you do listen to this, if not, then I guess I deserve everything that is directed at me and occurs to me, it is "fate" is it not? Now, with those words said, well no, really they were never said were they? Not even outloud oh curse these terms that must be switched just because I have no telephone to express outwardly and vocally, though I choose to not use those devices unless it is an absolute must to begin with. Saturday afternoon now, spent my time online from the time I woke up until now - as that could be expected, though I did start to watch From Hell but was forced to return it in mid-length of the film. So now I am stuck inside, all day for John has baseball games at Pike County which is maybe 45 minutes from where we reside. We should all know by now that I actually did have plans this weekend and of course, John just has to have a game today. I wanted to go up to the mall for purposes that will remain to myself, then actually learn how to drive a car so I will not be so left out in the normalness of the sophomore and junior years in the driving sense, the joy of it all..Also wanted to be taken over to Arlene's house as she invited me over for dinner and then going to go see Secret Window[I saw it last night and I advise those who have not seen it to go, not for the reason that Depp is in it but for the simple matter that it was a great film if you are into the whole suspense matter..] or some other movie with her which my mom gladly answered yes for me when I was asked this over the phone three weeks ago, but then I was forced to tell her no as it would not be possible for dear mother to return back in time. Maybe I should just go drink the alcohol collection down again, and after that has been completed go to the new neighbor male of mine that has been so nice to already offer me the chance to drink some of his own with him, the less feeling the better, the more drinking always insures that, so I guess when the time is right that will be what I am to do. Yes, that does sound quite appealing seeing as how no one is here to stop me from doing...anything. -_- I'm sorry that I hurt, it's something I must live with everyday...