Listening to: taylor swift
Feeling: lethargic
to my love,
i wanted to write you a letter about how i feel right now. i cant stand the fact that youve been too busy for me, and the fact that you dont care that i see you about an hour a week. i feel left out and not important. things are changing and you know how much i hate change, do you realize it? how about you pencil me in when you can. im going out of my way for you. & its not that i dont want to, or that it bothers me, but i would like a little effort back. yelling and name calling doesnt solve anything and i think me and you both know this by now. it hurts when i cry and you dont care, and i know you dont by now because of the way you act and treat me. im sick of fighting and im sick of being the last on your list. i leave you alone for a day and you come back to me like a sick puppy apologizing youll change and stop being such a jerk. but then we go on a merry go round with this and just go in circles instead of a straight line. i cave in instead of standing up and being strong letting you know i dont deserve this. im not perfect, im not saying that at all, and im not saying i havent been a bitch to you before, but im over it. i've been over it. i've been over fighting with you and i've tried to tell you this and let you know and tried to be the one who let things go and just be nice to you, but when i give so much and get less than half back, it gets hard. of coarse it will be hard, but it shouldnt have to be this hard when we both can stop. im begging you, please. just understand that i love you and i dont want to fight with you, i dont want to be the last thing on your mind and i dont want to have to be penciled in, i want to be permanetly in.
sometimes i dont think you realize that im leaving soon, i dont think you care that i see you about once a week, i dont think you care if i even leave as far as im leaving soon, and if you dont realize things soon ill be already gone.and by then, it will be too late. please dont let it be too late.
love you always,
elisha
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