i don't know why this is getting harder. probably because i'm trying way harder than i should to not let it affect me, and i know i'm doing a good job but then a second later i break down. i gave him way too much. he makes it look so easy. its so hard to believe he changed and just, everything is just the way it is. i can't stand this. and i feel like shit crying becaues i don't want to be the friend who is constantly crying abou this. i want people to be around me, i don't want them to be annoyed but i feel thats all i am is just a fucking annoying person.