was perfect and i wish i could go back. i miss it too much, and of coarse my best friend. i feel closer to her than ever now and that makes everythign easier for me. ill definitly be seeing more of her, which makes me so happy. its one of those friendships where nothing and no one can break because its too strong. its like a marine and a girlfriend, ahaha. silly but its love.< 3 my room is painted purple and i got new bed sheets. i was hiding something under a drawer/desk type thing. my mom obviously found it while she was rearranging my room. she hasn't said anything yet, but when she does its going to be big, and i dont really know what to say about it. today i looked in the mirror and i was just so disgusted with how i let myself go. and it all happened after i moved, which basically killed me inside so i stopped doing things i loved. and tha definitly got me out of shape. when i was bike riding with jenn, i almost forgot how much i loved bike riding. i want to do that more. i'm going to eat healthier too, i NEED to. and this isn't one of those "i am going to do it.." but then end up not. becaues i was just too grossed out at how fat i have gotten. nto really FAT FAT FAT, but definitly not something i feel comfortable in. and the only way i can be compleltely happy is if im comfortable with myself, right?right. okay so bike riding, eating healthy and exercising is definitly going to have to fit into my schedule. tomorrow i have work from 7 until 2 and then after i mighhhhht hang out with becky. i saw her today at teh bank. well, robb saw her jogging, but point being, i saw her too and we talekd and discussed plans abotu hanging out. i probably will since robb will be at ozzfest tomorrow and i have nobody to hang out with then. looooove all these friends i have, DEFINITLY its weird waking up to nothing but pillows next to me. and its weird not hanging out with my best friend everyday again. nobody will understand how i feel. i hate being away from somebody so important to me.