i broke up with travis yesterday. ugghh. it was for the better though, i need to keep telling myself that. yesterday was a half day. and we were suppose to hang out after school. HE planned it out, HE really wanted me to hang out with him. & after school, i didn't know whether to take the bus home, or to just go straight to his truck after school. so instead of taking a memissingthebus thing, i took the bus home. i got home arounddd 1:15. i called travis, but it went straight to his voicemail. so i left it at that he would call me. he didn't. not until 2:20. he calls me & says "craig and brandon are being gay, they ditched me. do you want to hang out?" and i'm thinking to myself, DUH I WANT TO HANG OUT YOU JERK, WE WERE SUPPOSE TO HANG OUT TODAY AFTER SCHOOL. BUT THANK YOU FOR CALLING ME SOONER. so he tells me that he will come over RIGHT THEN & we will hang out. welllll.. about 15 minutes pass by and his friend brandon calls me asking me why i yelled at travis? um, okay. but when me and him were on the phone i never yelled at travis. but WHATEVER. so he tells me that travis wants me to call him? why would i do that? he's coming over...or so i thought.then brandon asked me if i wanted to go with them offroading. and i was like "no, me and travis have plans and i want to be with him." now it's 3:00, and he still hasn't called & he's not at my house. i called him, yelled at him. told him taht i hate how he plans stuff with me and then blows me off. i hate how i could be off with my other friends, but i say no to them because i THINK me and travis are hanging out. it really pisses me off. he never is there for me. he doesn't do anything nice for me. for my BIRTHDAY...me and him were supopse to be hanging out all day. did he call to say happy birthday? nope....he ended up offroading with his friend. i don't remember exactly what went down, but i just remember how i felt. it was so horrible. i hate how i am always the one doing nice things for, cute surprises, he never does that for me. i hate how he says he wants to hang out, but then blows me off. i hate it...i don't even know what to think. so i ended the conversation by telling him i hated him and i didn't want to go out with him anymore. was that harsh? =/ p.s. before i hung up, i heard him say OKAY. like it was fine,perfectly fine. i choked, and started crying. today in school i had to give him the homecoming pictures. that was it, and then i walked away. what would i have to say to him? and of coarse, I'M NOT SURPRISED THAT HE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING TO ME. he won't. he's too much of a fucking pussy. so it's pretty much over. i still love him, of coarse. but i can't be with someone who won't treat me right. i can't be with someone who doesn't love me back. ugh. so i'm sick too. & all i've been doing is crying. i haaateee thiiisss. and i keep thinking about my past relationships, ones that could have been the best. and travis promised me he wouldn't ever do something mean, or anything to hurt me. but he does. and he did. and his actions, show that he never cared. and this breakup meant nothing. i hateHATEhate him now. he's offroading with friends right now. having FUN. while i can't have fun, i'm too busy being sad. and thinking about it. but of coarse, he can have fun and be happy like nothing happened. it never ment anything to him. never did and never will. i couldn't sleep last night, i was up thinking about it. and i know tonight will be the same. crying, no sleep..it's endless. boys are all the same.=[ i hate them all.