it really hasn't hit me yet, but i know soon it will. i think that half of me feels like it didn't happen and the other half feels like it did. or at least i would like to believe that, and that i'm handeling it so well. i can't deal with the temper tantrums anymore, i've given it two years of my life and i don't want to be the girl who had to wait around for him to change. i don't want to be the one to change myself. i feel like all he does is complain about me. my mom was right "once you cross that line of respect, there is no going back" the fact that we have both said our fair share of things that were totally uncalled for, and just disrespectful.. i don't see us having respect for either one of us. it's like one of those things where we are dying to hold onto any piece that will survive, but we're only hurting ourselves. i don't want to point fingers, because i know i've contributed to where this relationship has gone.. but he changed, he's not the person i fell in love with. he's lazy now, doesn't do anything for me anymore..and i'm not even asking for much. he's all talk, disrespectful, and i definitly never saw his angry side..but now that i've seen it over this year and a half, he definitly has an anger problem. smoking,drinking and drugs is all he's about. and his band. and i'm nowhere on that list. i want to support his band so much but how can i do that when i know that after the show his friends are going to surround him and then leave me out? and he will suck into it because he won't think about where i am, how i thought about how well he played..all he wants is his friends input. and the more i think about all this and everything he does that i don't like in general, i realize he has changed. and because of this it's affecting our relationship and that's not what i want. his whole outlook on life is that "a sober life is not fun" which sounds soo stupid to me.. i feel bad that people have to be under the influence of something in order to have fun, i feel bad for those people. i was born with a natural high on life. i could lay on the grass in the park on a hot summer day, eating a popsicle and listening to the ocean waves crash onto the sand. and that would be enough for me. it's not that our relationship died, it's that he changed..