i hate how he's going to be 19 next month and he doesn't have his license. it makes me soo mad because when i can't drive out there, we can't see eachother. and he gets all upset and so do i. but if he had his license it would be different. but whenever i bring it up, he gets so worked up and pissed off at me. it doesn't make any sense. i dont understand WHY he can't just get it. it would make things SO MUCH EASIER. why can't he just see that. he makes everything impossible, and sets road blocks in front of him, but sadjkhjksdf ughh. when he wants to go to a show bad enough adn there are road blocks he FINDS a way to get there. only things that are important to him. my insurance is definitly going to blow up at this, because of teh first car accident my insurance went up already. and that wasn't even my fault. and again, not my fault, its going to go up. i HATE stupid drivers. and of coarse she wants to blame it on me, soooo stttupppiiidddd. today was definitly not a good day. i hate being here, there is nothign for me here. yeah of coarse robb, but he makes thigns so difficult sometimes. of coarse i know i do too, but FUCCCKKKINN AAAAA. whyyy can't he get his licenseeeeee! it makes me sooo madddd when i think about it. like, just because he has me he doesn't need to get it. and then my "friends" yeah, i have none of those. christine is so fake and such a different person when she's with kelsey,suzanne,britney..i bet she tells them everything traci tells her. i feel bad for traci. britney should leave kory alone and find a guy who is SINGLE. girls are such whores it pisses me off. and then jill, we only hang out in school. but its kinda because we have nobody else. and then she is really boring, i feel bad for saying that. but it needs to be said. she annoys the shit out of me because she can be such a bitch sometimes. becky of coarse LOOVEEES to flake out on me all the time. nobody is real here, and i want to go where people are real. i can't wait till summer, it will be the best. a week of happiness with my best friend. i hate living so far apart from eachother, it really gets to me sometimes. :( i don't really want to go to moorpark college after school because thats a little too close to where i live. it's actually-not far enough. i want to get away from here, and never come back. people aren't worth it and hate to say it, but my so called family sucks. gene i barley know, shaynee is such a bitch and i hate what he does with her life. she's bipolar and freaks out over anything and everything and of coarse is disgusting. jamie has just gotten used to using me for breanna. and ryan never talks to us, too busy with his family. and dylan..is trying. my MOM, ugh. i dont even know with her. maybe i'll feel different when i'm older, maybe i won't. i just want to get away from everything i can. i want to find a different job, robeks isn't cutting it and young is a lying bitch. we're getting WAY too many new people at one time and it's getting out of hand. young is never there, leave it to everyone else. and everyone else that is there, sucks already. except for aaron, he is a pretty good worker. and rebecca knows what she's doing but you never know with her, she has massive mood swings that make it extremely hard for everyone else to work with. karissa is suchh a biiitcchh and lovesss drama and everything that comes with it. i sometimes feel like i'm the only normal one there. everyone else is just psycho. i got new sheets weeks ago, and never put them on my bed. and i probably should. maybe i should clean my room. it will give me soemthing to do and i won't have to think about anything bad too much. i'm getting a lot more used to silence that before, its bad i know because then i just think even more than usual. but i can't help but get used to being so alone and in silence. creeepppy? i wish i could fast forward time. or just life itself.