first of all, i hate this holiday with a huge passion. mainly because i'm always alone on this holiday, whatever. the point is..i hate it. marissa stayed the night last night, we couldn't go to sleep. never can..we were up until 3 in the morning, and we have to wake up at 6 for school. ugggghhhh. we woke up, eyes bloodshot. scary :[ anyways..got to school, & she ended up leaving..first period was a drag like always, but when is it not? i hate oceanography now with a passion. maybe its just because my hate for mr. buhring grows everyday. =] how lovely? second period came around, and i wasn't even in class for 10 MINUTES and me and becky got kicked out of class. i serisouly fucking HATE mrs. d'andrea. yeah, me and becky always talk in class..but this time, we weren't and mrs. d'andrea goes "elisha and becky be quiet!" and of coarse, i defend myself telling her we weren't talking, SO BEING SOOOO MATURE, SHE MIMICKS ME AND STARTED MAKING FUN OF THE WAY I TALKED! & she was like "so you are calling me insane now huh? i'm just HEARING you guys talk out of nowhere?" and i was like "well you ARE insane." so she just kicked us out of class and told us to walk down to the office. i told her she was fucking weird as i walked out. hahahaha. so me and becky spent all of second period in the office, hanging out..talking...it was FUN. =] so we had to pee really badly, so we decide that since 2nd period was almost over we might as well just walk out of the office and go to the bathroom, no harm..right? um obvisouly wrong. 4 of the campus supervisors had to come and get us. it was RIDICULIOUS. they started yelling at us telling us how we couldn't leave the office, umm okay? what the fuck ever. our school is fucking lame. of coarse the rest of the day was super lame, except after school. :] marissa came over and well, i always have fun with her, so it was just a lot of fun< 3 natasha called me and told me that travis was taking ashley out to dinner along with craig and brooke, UMM WHAT THE FUCK!? he never did anything nice like that FOR ME. what a fucking dick. serisouly. so marissa goes "we should go there and fuck up their dinner" welll, my mom came in the room that moment telling me how i needed to get over him and i wasn't allowed to be friends with craig anymore. um FUCK YOU MOM, I CAN BE FRIENDS WITH WHOEVER THE FUCK I WANT TO BE. and tthen she goes on telling me that the only reason im friends with craig is because hes good friends with travis. UM, WHAT THE FUCK?! NO. I WAS FRINEDS WITH CRAIG BEFORE TRAVIS WAS. but my mom didn't believe that. i fucking hate her. she is such a bitch. all of this turned into yelling at eachother and with her leaving my room. good, fuck her. about 10 minutes later, she had to take marissa home..after we dropped her off she started YELLING at me, telling me that i was a selfish bitch and a bunch of shit. it was awful..i usually don't scream back at my mom because she is fucking SCARY when she gets mad. but this time...it was so different. we were both crying and screaming at eachotehr at the top of our lungs while she was driving us home. she started screaming at me so much that she ran us off the road because she lost control of the car trying to fucking HIT ME. she told me that i was the biggest btich seh has ever met in her life and that i didn't deserve happiness...wow, thanks mom. then she started bringing up her birthday and valentines day and how i don't appreciate things she does for me. then school came up. then travis. then boys in general. then every little bad thing about me she brought up. she had to bring it up in the rudest way. i felt like my dad was screaming at me..it was awful. so i ended up telling her "if you hate me so much the nwhy the fuck can't you jsut give me away?" and she goes "YOU ARE WELCOME TO LEAVE NOW BITCH." ....and that was all it took. the second i got home i started packing my bags. i'm not fucking staying here. no fucking way. but now i'm scared that if i tell her i'm leaving for a few days, she will stop me and say "no, if youre leaving your leaving with your dad" and of coarse, that would be the shittiest thing ever. i've been trying to call marissa and melanie, but they aren't picking up their phones. and i'm not oging to a friends house not within walking distance from the metrolink station. i dont want to be here tonight. i really can't stand my mom. we barley EVER get along. i hate not being able to have a nice relationship with her, she's so fucking difficult and think she can run my life and she KNOWS my feelings. she doesn't. i fucking hate her. i really do.