i need this right now more than ever, so maybe i'm glad i'm just alone right now. this is why i don't need a therapist, because i can write whenever i feel like it. whatever time, or place. i can write it anyway i want. i was really bad at training daniel today. he's nice, and so cuuteeee. but, i ahve robb. my mom told me something about robbs mom, and i can't help but be disgusted. like..how could she do the things she did. affair? stripper? like, the whole principal thing was just disgusting. and i can't take anymore of it. i'll NEVER look at her the same. i want to tell robb so badly, even though i told my mom i wouldn't tell him. i think thats why i need jenn right now, oh man i'd tell her this and it still wouldnt feel off my chest until i told robb because its HIS MOM. this bothers me a lot because jamie talks so much crap about aaron. i think they both feel they have to be together because they've been married since their senior year in high school. they are a weird family. sometimes i think aaron is the only normal one. robb is starting to be like them too, they are just weird people. serisouly. like.. ugh, i can't even describe how it feels but its just a weird and bad feeling. what happened to real people? value? love? adn the most disturbing part about it all? "I DONT REGRET ANYTHING" how can she say that? friday was good. me and robb needed it. the beach, TARGET, god i love target even more than i ever did. i'm becoming more and more obsessed everytime i walk in. i could live there. dinner and a movie too. the movie though, that was really gross. i couldnt handle the girl getting raped, i cried. i think its because its my emotional time this month. but oh well, it really got to me. and it was way over the top. my mom wants to take me to a dermatologist about my hands and arms. or maybe even the urgent care. i hate having them be like this, it gets worse everyday adn its to the part where my hands are almost un usable. its strange how marissa has been calling me lately, and wanting to hang out. i really dont know how to respond to it all. i hate not having friends sometimes now. summer will be the best though, its really getting to me though how it cant just be planned and ready. it will be the best week of my life, all i really need is jenn. ha, now that im starting to think about it all over again i am actually becoming happy. its amazing what imagination can do to you. but i honestly cannot wait. when i think about summer i think about graduation, its coming so close.. im not even going to cry. i wont miss anybody i just want to get out and start my life. my chiropractor is gone for a week, and my back is startnig to hurt. this really isnt good.