so i went to the urgent care, and i have an ointment now. but the doctor was serisouly crazy. she doesn't know what she's talking about. whats workers comp anyways? my blood pressure was "extremely high" i guess thats what happens when you have a personality like mine. or a life like mine. why have i been crying more? my anti depressant should be working. i'm on another pill by the way. stupid. soo stupid. sometimes it feels like i'm fighting to live. i'm surprised that i have the best friend i do, who knows everything abotu me, how i act etc. and she has stuck by my side. i can't believe robb is still with me dealing with my shit. i wish i could control it and sometimes it feels like its beyond my control. i do try, i swear i do. i've been told by plenty of people that if i keep doing the things i do, i'm going to die young. very young. i dont know how i feel about that. i'll grow cancer or get a heart attack. either that or a stroke. this is if i dont change my ways.i dont think i can though, i've tried so many times and its just too hard. everything i want, is so far away from me. or so it feels like. what i want, isn't right in front of me. the sad part is..i used to be so happy. i want to know what happened. where did it end? i guess some things i'll never know. on another note, i've been losing weight. and i haven't even been doing anything to lose it. i just lost my apetite. :(