i never have a good monday. something always goes wrong. i hate it. i cant be happy. no use in trying anymore. ive changed way too much. im so deep into paranoia right now also. i cant help but think things that could be possibilities. and i cant stop thinking bout things taht i should of once thought of. i cant explain it. only charles understands my mind and the way it works. even better than me. last night we got off the phone at a early 9:45 ...but then he called me back at like 10:30 b/c he couldnt sleep. that made me really happy. im not sure exactly why because i was kind of out of it. but i do love him and im glad to be there for him anytime he needs me. and i would of stayed up the whole night for him if he wanted me too. anything thing for you babe. anywhos. today stunk. i mean stunk. it went so slowwww.....! 3rd period is when i got to my depressed and pissed off mood. dont you hate it when now a days all people can do is make fun of anyone and everyone? well i have a coulpe friends like that. if they are even my friends. b/c today they were making impressions of me. god damn them. what right do they have? i know i cant take it but i can dish it. but i bet you theyd get as pissed as i was today too. and devon wouldnt fucking leave his hands off of me. i cant stand him! w/e though. i guess thats guys for ya. im glad charles isnt like that. he is alot more mature than most guys i know. and thats why i love him. and well lunch was alright. kinda funny with jen and carol. i hope and josh and carol are ok. he had to tell her something but it had to wait until after school. so i hope things are ok. and apryl better not of messed any shit up. ok im going to go. im waiting for carin to call me so we can hang out. later jess