wellll... yes im still grounded and proud of it!lol. im still failing geometry but my grade has gone up four pts. in one week so thats good. this week has been dramatic like all the rest. i really hate drama...but it is always there. how do you get rid of it? i think once i find that person..itll just make all my drama go away but for now its here to stay! well i had a crush on my friend josh for the longest time. we went to winter ball together and had fun. and i heard he had liked me also. well earlier this week i hear he met my best friend(carol) who is kinda in alot of ways different then me. and i heard that him and her were walking in the hallway and touching. and she was kinda being slutty from what i hear..like she had this tic-tac in her mouth and she told him to take it out and all and he did. and they jsut met! so like always he waits for me after the last period of the day and he goes to my locker and we walk out to the buses..well..hes ramming on about something and i interrupt him and ask do you have feelings for my best friend and he said kinda..so i walked off. i couldnt take it ..i started to ALMOST cry. so the next day is wednesday and he is in one of my classes and my really good frined autum is just floored taht he likes carol. so she asked who he likes and he said her. and im not trying to talk crap but im sure this will end up to be like that. but he is not her type. im hang out with skaters and odd ppl and shes giddy,big boobs, and annoying to most ppl. so why are we friends,oh excuse me best friends..im really not sure why. but im jsut really confused aobut the whole thing. so then thursday im in science and i lost it..i actually left class b/c i was crying. i dont cry thats the thing. im a tuff girl but i completely lost it. and my friend amber helped me out alot. so i love her for that. so yea by friday im ready to go party. so after school i go shopping with my mom and then i go to my friend autum's house. so me,autum and melisa go to bryans. and all my problems go away. we're being stupid ..and i get my ciggarettes so we're just hanging out. and melisa gets upset bout some things so her and bryan talk bout it. and downstairs me and perry and autum and jason are being stupid again. and i say we should strip on the bar ..as a joke.. well then we start teasing them. lifting the shirts up but not totally up. then autum is like ill flash you in the dark..lol.and she did ,i didnt. well just in time they put on the lighter and see her boobs. it was soo funny. and i feel bad but i have an attraction to perry and my good friend marissa is datening him. so i would never break them up. then they walk us home. and we talk for hours and fall asleep. and i have sleeping problems and start seeing things. i started freaking out cus i thought i saw bryan at autums. but i was just..i dunnno what i was doing. then the next morning they come over and we go for a hike and get stonned off ours asses. lol. i mean stonned. i was falling..i dont even remember half of the crap i said or did. ill jsut make the story short and say we had fun. then we went back to bryans and layed around while they played games and the guitar. i really want to play drums..so im going to buy bryan's. so i cant wait. then marissa hears things bout perry doing thing with other girls. but it wasnt true so he go really down about it. but she is really dramatic.and you can tell he doesnt like it.lol. then melisa went home. and like around 7. they come back over and we are all laying on autums bed being stupid. then my parents picked me up and it was all over. so im sad cus im bored now. lol but im still upset about josh now. o well.. im soon going to go draw and i told carin id call her back and also im going to write autum a song since i promised her that. and o one more thing..i rewrote my song and its called beautiful eyes. so ill post it next entry. ok.. ta-ta