well i havent written in here for a very long time. it seems as though my life has went to hell. and it may never come back. sometimes i honestly dont kno where im goin or doing.. carol and i..i think have lost the friendship..now i feel i have no one..well..i dont kno where i stand in life or my purpose,its a living hell. literally i havent had any sleep this past week. i woke up nearly at 1 today and still terribly tired. well the winter ball is coming up and im goin with my friend josh. and now im even more confused. i had thought i had liked him...but i got together with a good friend of mine and some sparks kinda flew and made a god damn fire. i wish they would have burned me to death ..lol. things happen..but this was really unexpected. i now have some feelings towards this guy and he had told me he was starting to have them towards me too. but i cant help to think the same thing that happened with him once b/4 might happen again. i dont like being let down nor feeling like a total ass. maybe good things will happen. i never look on the good side of things. never.ugh god i dont kno. im very comfortable with him..and if feelings start happening again..then something must be there. i feel we can be open to each other also. hmmm..i dunno. hes hurt right now cus of his ex. she had it really good but she screwed up lots of time..and its really unforgiveable. i wish i had a chance im sure i would never screw shit up.. but i dont if ill kno if anything could come of this. and another thing that has made me depressed is that i was looking threw my photo album and well im not even friends with half those people anymore. i feel letdown and betrayed. im goin later ta-ta