just kill me now!! i actually want to go back to school. this summer will be boring. i know i know i said im working on improving myself. but im alone and for once i dont like it. carol said she'd call yesterday and yet it is today one day after yesterday meaning she never called. it rained to beautifully today. i liked it. i walked up the drive way slowly, listening to the outside as it dried off. it was lovely. i saw a spring peeper and saved it. lol. i like froggies. last night wasnt a good night. no sleep. my high came back for some odd reason. i felt like a manic. i was racing back and forth to the bathroom and my bedroom. i felt like i was dieing. really. i thought i died. ive been kinda crazy and just dreaming about odd things. ooo this is when i really thought i was crazy. i was sitting in the shower and listening to noise of the water hitting the tub and my skin. it sounded so cool but then got on my nerves and i freaked out. i felt like i wasnt hearing it but i was. well if you're reading this im sure i make no sense. only one person can ever understand me. and thats my best friend. and i dont know where she is. carol???