so i woke up this morning..alive for once. every night i sumtimes think i may never sleep again or if i do i wont ever wake. but thats a chance im willing to take. i figure if i let go of my paranoia..ill have more fun and less insecurities. its wat others think of me. its what i think of myself. but lately..you probably wont understand me. but ive been so paranoid lately..i spas out and think im dead. its gets so bad...i have alike a adrenaline attack. its gotten to the point i need to put it behine me. so yesterday i had a talk with autumn ..and i feel better and less paranoid. yesterday i went to the IMAX theatre..it was pretty cool. these stuck up bitches were kicking me seat so i fucking hit it back and then i got a good look at them and fucking rolled my eyes. thats all i could considering we were with her parents.lol then we saw this freaky ass guy..he was all drugged up picking flowers it was funny. i like harrisburg alot btw. i got a boink too. lol latley if anyone has been calling me you should call me back. cus i havent been returning any phone calls. sorry. and one of my friends is now pissed at me. whatever i did it wasnt intentional. so usually i get all worked up about something like this. but that would make my paranoia come out. so i just gotta just not care. even though they do mean alot. i just cant freak out or have another attack. so later.