Sigh i wish someone were on to talk to. I need more friends. Specifically girls. That would be nice. I'm in a needy mood, i wish i had someone cute to hold. I think i know which person that is. I just want a hug, my cats keep running away. I wish pebbles was still around. Either she loved me enough to let me sit there and rub my face in her or she was too fat and lazy to do anything about it. I'd like to think the first. I used to come home in fourth grade when i had the absolute worst teacher. She was a bitch. I wrote an essay for school about how you shouldn't judge people from what others say about them. Well i used Mrs. Line as a example for one of my people i judged, but throughout the essay i would say "but i still dont agree with how she does this or that" By the end of the essay about how she really isnt that bad i had myself convinced that i made the correct judgement and she was indeed a bitch. I laughed at that becuase i didnt have time to fix what i had made up so i just turned it in looking as i had forgiven her. What did she do so bad you might ask. Well she verbally abused kids for the smallest things: my english paper was a page too long once and she yelled at me right in my face in front of the whole class. Sooner or later i told my parents, but i think they noticed because i would come home crying and run to my bed to have pebles greet me and comfort me. God, thank you for giving me her i really needed it. Pebbles thank you for being there to help me out. Pebles was fat and got fatter and then ended up with diebeties (which we could of handled, all we had to do is give her an insulin shot everyday) first thing i did when i heard my mom say it was diebeties was look it up and learn as much about it as i could. I REALLY loved that cat! But then after that pebles had more trouble and got kidney problems that were unfixable. I'll remind you this was just a cat. So we had to put her to sleep. I was stupid and went to my friends house (seventh grade)to spend the night the night before and i forgot all about it. So when we got to the vet's to put her to sleep i just woke up (hardly) and was realizing what was going on. I had no trouble handling it until they put the needle into her. I freaked and left the room. I went out to the car and considered running home, but there would be no tissues and no one to comfort me. There wernt tissues in the car either so i calmed myself and went in to get toleit paper to wipe my nose. (sorry im crying now.) But i decided to go to where my parents and brother were with my slowly dying cat (they said it wasnt painfull, but im sure it wasnt comfortable).I pet pebbles and she meowed weakly. When i looked at her i got worse and ran back out and crying histarically i hit my head against the wall. "Why pebbles, what did she do?" And my dad came out and i ran to the car. All the people in the lobby looked at me, i was sure they knew what i was crying about, but they looked inquisitive. So then i sat in the car, feeling like a wuss for not being with pebles while she died. My dad tryed to comfort me but i was crazy, then i calmed down and we left and mom, dad, and my brother (seemingly unaffected) wanted to go out to eat. So like an idiot i let them take me. We went to some stupid barbecue restraunt and i couldnt eat, but i did to cover up that i was sad. The whole time i felt like bawling my eyes out, but couldn't in front of all the people. When we got home i went to bed and cried somemore without my parents knowing. I went to sleep with my other cherished thing in my arms, Glory my stuffed animal eagle. When my grandma died i felt guilty for not crying, for feeling more sorry for the other people, and for freaking out over a pet. Now that i look back on it, i spent alot, ALOT more time with my cat and knew pebbles ALOT better than i knew my grandma. Crap, now my parents will ask me whats wrong i got red all over my face and my cheeks are soaked from crying. I don't have anyone to hold me now, luckily i have glory. Well after a long time of not sleeping with a stuffed animal, i think i'll go back for at least one night. I don't feel a whole lot better now that i wrote this, just more needy. AHHHHHHHGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE HUG ME!!!!!!!!! Sweet dreams, i know i won't have any. Remember your pets!