I always mean to get back to the Andy I was as a freshman, and I have a feeling that it comes in four year cycles, that I'm about to be Freshman Andy again in college. I used to have strong morals, tried my best to act like a caring human being, and had much stronger control over my temptations and emotions. Running for example. Because I want to be able to know when this is taking place and when I degrade into a lesser Andy I decided it was important that I take notes so I'll know next time. This diary has helped me to know how the process works though I don't have much early documentation. Right now I feel mildly lonely all the time, and very lonely late on a night. I don't feel like running except for the sole purpose of running, though I haven't run for two or three weeks. I feel healthy, and I still eat very well. I find myself very unattractive though I think people are looking at me. This drives the desire to improve my body. I don't feel like I have the moral standard that I used to set for myself, lying, cursing, and allowing myself glutteny, not talking to people when they are trying to be nicer to me, and acting like a jerk becuase I find it funny. I also take very great pride in the fact that I am what I am and I do what comes to me. I'm pretty sure that confidence never rung true with me when I was good Andy. I want to make myself a better person, and I think that I'm not that attractive or talented, so if I want anything out of this world I'd better be very polite and endearing. These are the things I feel right now. Objective truth as best as I can fit it. Bye like