I wonder if I'll get to go to school tomorrow. I don't know if I'm getting better or worser. Anyhow missing you for a day will be hard. I found my hat last night. I finnally used the blanket that was bunched up against the wall and my bed, and it was under there. Wierd. Anyhow I'm cold. I've been cold for a long time. Yes... cold hearted. Muahahaha. Oh and I cleaned out my folder (I'm so bored) and found... about twenty notes from you. So I stuck them in my box. Yeah ... I have a box. I'd decorate it but it's a hidden thingy. Only not hidden. See I just put it on my dresser that way if someone found it they wouldn't suspect it to be anything important. Maybe I should hide it behind my desk. See you taught me paranoia well. I read a bunch already, ha! So what book did you chose for you're book report? Oh and did you chose the last possible date for your thing, because I was an idoit and didn't. I chose october something or another, but it's in two weeks. So I have to talk to her and tell her that I need more time. And I have a way to make it look good too. I'll tell her that I overestimated my abilities, because in the summer I used to read books this size in a week flat. Which is true. And that I just don't have as much time as I did during the summer. Which is true. Wow I'm getting good at being manipulative without even lying. Anyhow I don't think I even need a reason to change the date. I think she just does it for you. I went downstairs before and listened to STYX yeah that's good stuff. I have viaried taste. I want to buy the jet album, it's cool. Oh and I want to burn my dad's Simon and Garfunkle album. I like songs. Yepp. What should I do with the rest of my day. I could clean my room and make it a productive day. Or I could read and study spanish and make it productive. Or I could finish folding the clothes for my mom and make it productive. Or I could write you a email and play video games for a long time. Hmmm I wonder what will do. ... So you better tell me what happened in school if something interesting happened. Wait maybe you shouldn't tell me what happened in school. I left a unread note in my planner and left it at school. I really am curious as to what it says. I'm half tempted to call jake and have him grab it from my locker and tell him to grab some books too, you know as a cover. I think it will just drive me crazy. I'll call him at 1:15 though, you know during lunch. Maybe just as someone to talk to, I am bored. I just realized that I won't be able to help you make cookies. Darn... I really want to curse about that, but I figure that r n looks like a m anyhow. I miss you. And making cookies... that would be like... a dream... If I wasn't sick I'd probably go make cookies with you and then play around and fall asleep on the couch with you and the day would be all perfect and nice, but no I get screwed over every time. *depressededish* Maybe my dad will come home and buy me lunch. I know he would. I think my dad likes me. He knows I don't like taking exessive amounts of medication. Well everyone does. So I think he tried to hang on to the idea that I wasn't sick for a long time, because he avoided telling mom that I was sick. And she is the one who assignes medication. Though my dad did give me these really big things to swallow, but not strong things. And I tried and couldn't. It really bothers me when I can't do stuff like that. Anyhow I avoided telling him because he would get mad that I wasted them, and make me nervous then I wouldn't be able to swallow anything. I have a hard time swallowing pills. Anyhow after we checked my temp again, he told mom and I had to tell that I didn't swallow those things. And all he said was that he would of gave me something else that I could of swallowed if I had told him. So I hid it for no reason. And yeah my mom pumped me full of pills. Well it isn't that bad, but I'm opposed to any. There is this really cool thing I had though. It's like a super cough drop. My dad gave it. It makes anything it touches numb. Like novocain. So I rubbed all over my tounge and I had trouble talking, that's how awsome it is. Then I did other stuff, but I can't remember what. But I'm going to go get one now, because my throat hurts kinda. ... And it tastes good. ... I want a hug. But I can never get one when I really need it. And stuffed animal hugs just dont cut it. I like hugs. When I was little I didn't know how to hug so when my dad hugged me I just put my head on his shoulder. I do that now just to be funny. I wonder if he smiles when I do that. And once he left without hugging me and I cried, alot. And I ran outside and watched him drive away in his green truck. That was a cool truck. Give me a hug first thing when you see me next, I like 'em. Bye like