I practice aikido and that is strictly what I do, practice. I have no intentions of becoming a respected blackbelt for the $35 my parents pay for it each month. I want to stay as I am a whitebelt and learn the tecniques that it takes. Validly I plan to at some point ... short in the future maybe go up in rank a little. But it angers me that my mom keeps trying to force me to. She doesn't out and say go test now damit! She trys to trick me into it and it's pissing me off. I want to learn and do this at MY own pace. I want to suck up all I can and move on to a new martial art. I also don't know what to do to get the testing material. But that is easily solved. And she keeps asking if I'm afraid to fail, which is a very very small possibility. No one ever fails and I've seen some crappy tests. What else I don't want is to be one of the people that the new ones think know everything, I have an opposite ego. I just don't want to test yet! I want to relax, this is summer and I get plenty pressured during the rest of the year. I also want so bad just to see jacki who I can rarely see, that is sad for me. That and she isn't even online tonight. That's all that makes my life worth living outside of running which I don't think drives me anymore. See my life is falling apart then. And my brother keeps hogging the game I bought, I don't even like him but I have to let him play my games. Stupid parents. God! I'm just mad! Mad Mad Mad. Everyone leave me alone. BYE LIKE!