I was trying to avoid one of these woe is me entries but sometimes they are just a necessary evil. So here it goes (again): I fucking hate the winter, I love Christmas, I hate being cold and going to a lecture in the dark, I love being snuggly with the fire on. I hate having to use a fucking lightbox to reach acceptable levels of seretonin to be happy to be normal. I hate feeling this bullshit, I hate knowing it's coming and not being able to pull myself back. I hate the weakness, I hate the fear, I hate the anger, I hate the confusion, the conflicting emotions, happiness and overwhelming love for the small things in life at the same time as feeling uncontrollable hatred towards people who I don't know, things out of my control, my own emotions. I hate not having any friends that I trust, not having a best friend who I can talk to, who can make me laugh whenever I'm down. Who trusts me with their shit too. I hate how much fun i'm missing out on at uni and how I know it's not just because of having no money it's because i'm scared of not being cool enough. Forget about being yourself and being happy with it, at the end of the day everyone wants to fit in and be cool in some way. I hate how my friends back home have forgotten about me and how I dont want to text them loads incase they think i'm being desperate and needy. I HATE SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISSORDER!!!