Last night I didn't get to sleep until around 5am because I'd gotten really paranoid that someone was watching me from behind my partially open door. I was too scared to move so I just sort of passed out from tiredness, fully clothed into a nightmare. When I woke up 5 hours later I felt like shit and started to cry for the second morning in a row. Then me and my mum went to Starbucks and Junction 27 for a hot chocolate and some last minute bits of shopping. I finally felt happy and Christmassy. Then Kris came over and ruined it all with his massive fucking mood. I know he's down cos' life really sucks for him right now, he's not at uni and he has no job. He owes me £1300 and I'm not his girlfriend anymore. Yeah I fucking get it and that's all my fault. But I'm not feeling too fucking sparkly either mate but it's Christmas fucking eve and I thought for once maybe I could be a bit happy!