Joel is a good mate who is from London, but I met him whilst I was travelling Europe and he was living in Krakow for the year. He sold me some pills in the hostel bar & we spent the next 24 hours in a hazy dream, trippin' & then coming down together layed in the sun between the river & the castle. He fell in love, I fell into dellusional love. After I came home to England we continued to talk and so I went back over that October where we continued to be 'loved up' & played in the snow & got fucked up. We were meant to do a drugs run on the Thursday...he had arranged to sell 10gram of coke to some guys on a stag do but they didn't want me to come so he re-arranged for the night I left. It was a set up, he got arrested. He got told to go back home so he went to Ireland to live with his Dad...his Dad then put him in a psyche ward because Joel has always been massively depressed which is why we bonded do strongly...our love of drugs and hate of the world we lived in cemented us. Now 18 months on after our not talking and talking and not talking, our friendship has bloomed again...he says he is in love and sadly those love feelings faded for me and he knows it but he still says I'm keeping him alive, what pressure. He took a load of valium last night & text me telling me when he closes his eyes & thinks about me it physically hurts him to know that we won't ever be together that way because I am the only thing that makes him think he could ever be happy. He did wake up this morning against his will. I told him if he hadn't woken up I'd have been devastated because I love him to pieces but I would be relieved that he could finally be free from the torment. He has psychosis. He will never be free. We are posting each other our thoughts about anything and everything & he is sending me some valium. x ps/ one assignment down, one to go...btw, it's not the 2000 word essay just the poxy 500 synopsis.