I feel as though he took me for a test drive, once around the block to see how I handle, how far I'll go, how I'd do anything he wanted me to just to please him. He didn't even bother to take me back, just ditched me in the middle of no where. I can directly correlate this inability to realise it was a non-event & that I should be able to get over it like the snap of fingers, to Oliver Suchomski. My boyfriend when I was 16 & and he was 15. Ollie was also the singer of one of my older brother’s early bands. He was very charismatic and already knew how to manipulate well and of course I fell head over heels but he said it first. But he didn't like it when I did what I liked and he picked on me, calling me stupid and yelling at me for the stupidest things like not wanting gravy on my tea. He would sit on my chest so I couldn't breathe and once in front of my brothers and about 5 of his mates he was trying to feel me up and wouldn't stop so I gave him a small slap in the face and walked over to the rest of the group. He swiftly followed and smacked me back. No body did anything. After about 2 months of him trying to make me sleep with him, humiliating me and telling me I was ugly he just stopped talking to me. I never got closure or a chance to fight for it, I wanted so badly for him to send me a text even if it was to call me a stupid bitch but he just made me invisible and THAT has fucked me over and still does. Now when I get dumped all that same shit comes flooding along to make me a neurotic mess again who questions EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING that she could have done or said that would make him want her still. Maybe I wasn't skinny enough for him, maybe I'm just not as pretty as another girl he likes, maybe I wasn't fun enough, didn't give him enough of what he wanted, I really should have just gone down on him and not been so worried about getting it damn perfect but if I hadn't got it perfect would he have dumped me anyway? And the stupid thing is these people are cunts. They treat me like absolute shit and I fucking love them and care about them and try to make them happy all the while losing my personality, losing that 'I don't give a fuck attitude' that is the reason some of my friends were drawn to me, just turning into a little 'pleaseyougirl' AGAIN!