It's amazing how when we let our guard down a bit, sometimes we see the best in people.

Sam and I got back together. It's going really well so far, actually. We're not telling his parents this time around. We're not putting it on Facebook. And on that note, we're not listening to the complete bullshit from people who don't know what they're talking about.

It's going well. I'm going to West Point a week from Friday for Yearling Winter Weekend. I get to dress up and meet the corps and the plebes will rate me and I'll meet all the other West Point girlfriends.

& We get to wander around NYC & just enjoy each being with each other, which is time we honestly haven't really had since probably MLK weekend last year.

It's so weird to think about that.

But it works for us.

I still flirt with other guys. I talked to Tariq a lot tonight. He's very very attractive. Arab. Just like Sam so obviously my type haha, but Tariq dresses better. Flirted a bit. Yeah. &Since most of the people at DTH don't know I'm taken again, it was probably seen as flirting. But he's so cute. That was the justification in my head. Let's just forget that nasty little mark on his record where he made out with Frier at the xmas party. But to be honest, tonight really was completely harmless.

Also, let's not talk about the fact that I'm going out of my way to prevent Tom from finding out.

Part of me, just selfishly, wants to know if he's really just as inept with women as he seems, or if there's a legitimate reason he stopped being interested in me. He brought me green tea at the office last night. Just cause. He wants to get together and cook this weekend. I think there's a difference in his behavior this semester and last. Just given our history, and given his recent behavior, it's reached the point that telling him about Sam is going to be awkward. Like "Hey, sorry, I know you said you wanted to date me in May, but you never did anything about it, so I found someone else in December. Your bad!" Like, given that we're still just friends, how does one even bring that up? I can't just subtely slip it into conversation because that's just as bitchy, given our history. And it's also good that it's not going on Facebook, because the options just get bitchier and bitchier. So I'm choosing not to mention it at all. But Tom appears to be interested in me, and I did make a psuedocomittment in May, but he never followed through on it. So I don't feel bad about getting back together with Sam. But considering it's been an entire semester where he has not just fucking gone for it, I'm choosing not to tell him. Maybe it'll never come up. BJ thinks it's a terrible idea. He knows our history. He thinks I'm not being fair to either Sam or Tom. He made me promise I'd never cheat on Sam. Of course I never would. I'm actually kind of appalled that he would even think I might.

But Yww can't come soon enough. To be with him is something I need. Either to strengthen our relationship or to see if it's not as solid as I think it is.

I hate letting myself seem vulnerable. And once I do, I can't stop it. But when I do, I make connections. Sometimes I see the good in people. Funny how that works.