Know what? I fucking saw Alesana live. They fucking sucked. They sounded 100% like The Devil Wears Prada(who also fucking sucks). Honestly. If you played the two of them next to eachother, I would never be able to tell the two apart. God, you have such bad taste in music. I didn't like Alesana before, But you've put such a bad taste in my mouth for them. So I thought maybe I'd like them live But I fucking liked them even less. They're nothing but another shitty emo-screamo-whiny-I'm-So-Hardcore-I-Eat-Babies-I'm-A-Vampire band. I still like Blink 182. I wouldn't rank them very high on my list of bands I like, but whatever. Particularly "feeling this." I also like Angels &Airwaves. I do. They were really good live. It strikes me as ironic though. You wanted to put on music when we made out. I'm a music nerd, I'm down with that. Hell, if it's music I like, I even find it pretty hot. You said "I'm a big Blink 182 fan" as you put that CD in the stereo, and "feeling this" began to play. It's so funny to me that you only played the first minute of it. "We're taking this way too slow" "Gonna regret right now" "Let me go in her room, I wanna take off her clothes" "Show me the way you move" It's really funny to me that you skipped to another song. I don't even remember what it was. It's even funnier to me that then, you took Blink 182 out of the CD player & put in Angels & Airwaves. You said "well, Angels &Airwaves is more ambient rock." Like you fucking cared about the ambience Especially when I told you I didn't like Angels&Airwaves as much as I liked Blink 182, Especially "Feeling This," That's actually my favourite song by that band. It's so funny to me that you wanted to change it to a band I didn't like as much. When "feeling this" is a song I fucking love, And it's so fucking fitting for the way you felt about me. You may have liked me. You may not have. You told me you did. You told Jason you did. Hell, I believe that at one point you did. Well you liked the excitement that comes with a new relationship anyway. I remember our first date very well. I went to your house. We were going to go Laurel Hills park. Too bad about that forest fire that made the air quality so fucking bad. So I went into your room. You left the door open, so I figgered it was okay. You're so fucking smooth. We started to watch that movie. We didn't finish it. I couldn't pay attention to it at all. You were a funny kid, you were, with your antics the way you started a hitting me with your pillow, playing the way you did, tickling me, etc, You put your arm around me, and we continued with your little antics, you made fun of how ticklish I was, and at some point, you had closed the door. I didn't even realize it. You kept hitting me with the pillow, and I said "No fair, I'm unarmed." You got up, left the room, and got me a pillow. You're so fucking clever, so fucking smooth the way you closed the door then, so I didn't feel uncomfortable, didn't feel threatened, becuase I didn't fucking notice. A few more of your antics And you laid down I laid down next to you... then you kissed me. I kissed back. I said "What took you so long" You laughed and said "really?" You told me "I was only tickling you to get close to you" I believe all I said in reply was "It worked." You were so fucking smooth that next thing I knew we were full on making out in your bed. You were feeling me up. I was praying to God that your mother didn't suddenly open the door. It brought me back to reality when you tried to stick your hands inside my bra. I breathed a "too fast" You said "I'm sorry, that was too fast." You said what you thought I wanted to hear, but I don't think you thought so Becuase then you tried again... but fucking worse you kissed my neck and moved down... you tried to get into my bra with your fucking mouth. on our first date. like I would let you do that if I didn't let you in there with your hands! Don't get me wrong, I like making out, a whole hell of a lot, But I'm no slut. And no matter how much I like you, I'm not going to act like a slut. On our second date you tried to finger me. That's not okay. It's not. I told you no. You listened. I tried to tell myself that it would be okay because you respected me when I said no. I stopped you before you put your hands down my pants. I told myself, "It's okay to date him as long as I don't let him get too far, he'll respect me when I say no" And he did. And I didn't let it get too far. I don't regret anything I did. but let's face it, you are a horny teenage boy you wanted to screw, I didn't. But what is so funny is that you wanted to turn off "Feeling this" Becuase it so fucking well sums up your attitude towards me and our relationship And I fucking love that song so why didn't you just let it play? I love the beat, It's the kind you dance to, the kind you raise your hands in the air, the kind you shake your head, eyes closed, not worrying about anything else, just the power of the music, the sound pulsing through your veins, that happy feeling I get when it plays, "Fate fell short this time" "Your smile fades in the summer" I love it. So why did you turn it off, for more "ambient" rock? I don't like it as much, I don't get that unnamable feeling, And to be perfectly honest, I find it a lot hotter to be making out to a song with the Feeling-This energy than the Secret-Crowds energy. So looking back on all this now it's clear that you find nothing redeemable in me other than the fact that I'm female and could potentially be a piece of ass if I had let you, so why did you turn off the beats that made me happy for "ambience"? you've fucking ruined that word for me, by the way someone can't say "ambient" without me automatically thinking "angels&airwaves" And I can't hear any song by Angels&Airwaves without thinking of that time we made out on your bed with Angels&Airwaves playing in the background. You ruined Alesana for me, You ruined All Time Low for me, You ruined Cartel for me, You ruined Dead Eyes for me, You even came awful close to ruining Powerspace and Cobra Starship for me, But you can't fucking ruin Blink 182. You turned that shit off. I still fucking love "feeling this" It still makes me wanna dance, Still makes my heart beat fast, Still puts a smile on my face, And (amazingly) When I hear it, you're not the first thing I think of. Know what else? I'm done. Nothing was my fault. I'm through blaming myself for letting you near my heart, I'm through thinking through what I did wrong, I'm through with you. I guess this whole thing wasn't all bad. I got that whole "scene boy" thing out of my system. And I'm never getting anywhere near one again.