So, I'm back, it's been a while. A lot of things have happened, but I think I'd rather tell the few of you that still log on to this how I'm feeling. But I suppose you'll want a picture now...lamos. I just read some of my old private entries. I was really a dark girl in middle school I guess we all kind of were I got called depressed or whatever And I asked this person why she thought I was And she was like "I read your online diary" I think that's why I made my diary friends only. I didn't want people judging me by this. But I guess you could judge who I was. I mean, my entries were mostly dark becuase I used this diary to vent a lot more than I did tell you what I did But I read some longass entries I used to write I told you guys everything. I mean, I didn't tell you "secrets" Like who I had a crush on, bad things I did, et cetera I told you all so much more I told you guys my hopes my fears my dreams my doubts things that matter so much more than who I like or whatever it is at that moment. I wrote about what I thought of myself What other people thought of me And what I thought of other people And I couldn't believe how open I was and how closed I've become. I looked at some of this stuff I used to write A couple really deep entries And then I read some of the meanest most hateful anonomous comments I've ever read. How could people say those things about me? Right after I told them things I didn't even know about myself? It hurt in so many ways then and now I'm reliving that pain I don't think I realized how open I was then They said such terrible things. They used my open entries to figure out what I most feared and then used the comment to confirm it-anonomously of course. I thought they were true But I now see they aren't I see they couldn't be Because the people wouldn't sign in. Would they have signed in, I would have hated myself. But now I see that they didn't really hate me I think they really wanted to make someone hate themself. They didn't. If you signed in, I would have hated myself...like crazy I see now It's more than just cowardice. It's Malice. It's envy. It's pathetic.