I really like that feeling when you feel like things aren't awkward anymore.

Like when the girl who for a while wouldn't speak to me (and on some level I guess I deserved it) offered to do me a favor, and then we could hold a normal conversation and she complemented me on something.

Tonight, a guy I used to be involved with walked me home. It wasn't awkward, we had good conversation, talked about things we couldn't used to talk about and hugged before he went back to his place.

I like reconciliation. I like things being chill.

Got me thinking: when Sam and I weren't together, we couldn't reconcile. We couldn't talk. at all.

Every so often for those nine months, one of use would call the other and it would start out with small talk and then one of us would say something thing he'd start yelling or I'd start crying. Then in one of those talking-crying-yelling matches, it came out that we both really wanted each other back. Then all the yelling stopped, it was all good again. And then we talk, and we talk and we talk and we talk and we go on for hours and it's like we're best friends again.

Then we're back together and lately to be honest we've kind of been having some problems. We went eight days without even trying to speak to each other; so then he called me one night and I just asked "Hey are we okay?" and it turned into this big thing.

That's always the worst part of breaking up, isn't it? We have to lose a friend too, not just a boyfriend. Anyone out there in the SitDiary ever been in an open relationship? I'd just like to talk to someone out there about it. To be honest I don't really get how it would work. I've always been fiercely loyal and I can't figure out how that would work.