He tells me things that make me trust him. He told me he's in lovewith me. He told me I can keep his favorite hat when he goes to West Point, and he'll bring the polar bear. He told me he'll write me every day. He told me he wants me to come to Ranger school graduation, which is fourth year. He told me that he's happy I'm going to UNC because it means that he'll get to see me every time he comes home. I have really, really severe trust issues. I've been used, cheated on, whatever else, and so I have trouble trusting people and then trouble getting attached to people because I can't get attached to anyone unless I trust them. I trust Sam. I care about Sam a lot, more than I've ever cared for someone before. And I hate it a little bit because I hate that he has so much control over my emotions and because I hate not being in control over myself. Yesterday he said something new. I first say, "I can't believe this is my last month with you." He says, "It's not your last month with me." I say, "I know. But it's my last month where I can see you everyday. It's my last month where I can actually hold a conversation with you..." He says "That's not true." I say "For seven weeks it's true anyway. The fact that we can only communicate through letters is sort of incredibly romantic and incredibly depressing and sad at the same time." He said "I feel bad about this whole thing, because I feel like I'm choosing to go to West Point and choosing to tie you down going into college." To me, that translates "I don't want to stay together, it's not you, it's me." I just don't understand for what other reason he would say something like that. I mean, if he wanted to stay together, why on earth would he remind me that I'd be "tied down"? I started crying a little bit. Well, not really crying, but there were tears. "Well what does that mean?" I said. It's all I could say. "No! No! that's not what I meant at all!" He says, noticing my tears. "Trust me, there's nothing to worry about on my end. I will miss you more than anything, and I will write you all the time. I just mean that I feel bad because I'm making the conscious choice to go to prison and take myself away from you, and I feel bad that you have to go to college tied down all because of me." "I mean, the reason you're going to West Point is the exact same reason I'm going to UNC. You want to be in the military, I want to be a journalist. UNC has one of the top 5 journalism school's in the country, West Point is the premier military academy." "Yeah, but I still feel like I'm making this choice..." "It's a choice on my end too, you know? It's not a relationship can be one sided. If I didn't want to stay with you I wouldn't." "I know." "I know it's gonna be hard. But people do it right?" "Yeah. The commander I talked to married his high school girlfriend..." I don't know. I don't want to marry Sam. I just am not ready to lose him right now. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I have never been with anyone who is so good for me, who makes me so freaking happy, who's so genuinely a good person and who so really does want to the best for me. The way I see it, I have two options: 1. I could break up with him next month. It would be clean, something along the lines of "I care about you a lot, but I'm just not ready for a long distance thing like this." It would end things simply and I would be able to at least have him as a friend, maybe even a really close friend. But then, as Gaby says, "It's hard to be friends with someone you're in love with." 2. I could keep things going. It could turn into something great. It could just dissolve and end. Or it also has the potential to get really, really messy. I could lose him altogether, even as just a friend. I don't know. You read the conversation, are his intentions pure?