My family is so weird. Me: mom, I smell like old people! Mom: your nana gave it to you, you should wear it. Me: mom! It smells like old people! Mom: then use sparingly. Me: I can’t wear this! It smells like old people! Mom: then don’t. Stop telling me about it. Me: but I have to! Mom: I thought you just said you couldn’t. Me: I can’t! But I have to! Mom: stop talking to me like this. I’m trying to sauté spinach. Me: well, I can’t smell like old people. But nana gave it to me! But it stinks! Mom: we have all received a gift or two we haven’t liked. It’s okay. Me: I guess…one more thing. I smell like old people. Mom: Shady… Me: Stop! I just need to get the smell out. Mom: cover the smell with what you used this morning. Me: eye make up remover? Great. I’ll smell like an old woman who can’t put on make up. Mom: I meant the bath and body works cucumber melon soap. Me: I knew that… Rob: the bus didn’t arrive for another hour after you picked me up. Mom: Holt was standing out in the cold for an hour? Rob: not exactly. Mom: we offered to take him home. Rob: he went into Starbucks to stay warm but he didn’t have any money. He hung out for a few minutes, but he wasn’t buying anything so they kicked him out. Then he went to best buy, but he had all his snow gear on, so one of the employees thought he was going to shoplift so he followed him around for a while before he was kicked out. Then he did something really funny, then he Me: what was so funny? Rob: I can’t tell you. Or mom. Mom: why not? Me: because rob and Holt are sexist. Mom: what did Holt do to some poor girl? Me: Mom!!! My feet smell like candy!!! Mom: so what were you watching up there? Rob: a movie you wouldn’t like. Lots of blood and guns. Mom: your right, I wouldn’t like it. Dad: there weren’t any guts! Rob: I said guns. With an N. Dad: sorry, you’re right, lots of guns. Mom: no guts? Well that changes everything.