i was thinking about this past summer today. about all my "friends"...who i thought knew me. about sean, how he supposedly cared but really didnt give a rats ass. about everyone who has come into my life and left just as quickly. this summer has shown me who my true friends are and how strange it is that you can find them in the most unusual places. i have changed over the summer. i was told at work the other day that im mature for my age. sometimes, i wish that wasnt so true. not that i want to be immature, but i wish i didnt go thru some of what i did...it would have made things MUCH easier... i also thought of those who have come into my life lately. tony being the most pertinent (sp?). i always looked at myself as a worthless something. never going to amount to anything. i think this is bc of my past and the asshole. he ruined me. If he had never come into my life, i wouldnt have most of the problems i have now. but i guess i should take my own advice and realize that everything happens for a reason. but anyways. back to tony. of course lol. hes made me re-evaluate my self worth. i still dont like how i look AT ALL and try as he might, he'll never change it. but obviously he sees something inside me that i dont and never have. i dont think i've EVER been as comfortable with anyone as i am with him. so in a way, this is a "thank you" to him. making me relize that maybe im worth something. i just hope he can put up with my horrible self image. at least i can admit it right?? ive already started to refer to him as my boyfriend...changed a few profiles... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i was talking to michelle today while finishing up an assignment on stress. in the assignment we had to identify 2 major sources of stress. one for me was money, which is getting better, and the other was her moving down to campus. and as i was writing this and talking to her, i just started to cry. i think i might start agian right now. i dont cry...theres no crying in baseball (great movie...)