brian and i are still doing well. we went out to dinner the other night. it was nice. i usually go to his place and we leave from there. i told my dad i was going to brians and we were going to go out to dinner, and he asked "why doesnt he ever pick you up?" and i just told him that he had never displayed any interest in meeting brian. he said that he never said that. so naybe that means that hes becoming more accpeting of us, and/or realizing that he and i are not going to stop seeing eachother on his account. im 20 years old. im going to do what i want within my best judgement. and right now, i want to be with brian. especially with things looking up the way they are. ive also finally decided to get professional help with my body image. my dad said he had no clue that it was that bad, because i told him that i was tired of hating myself and crying myself to sleep at night, when everyone else saw this great person. i dont think that anyone should have to go through life feeling tht way. i want to be happy with myself, and accept myself for who i am. maybe this will help? im now in the service desk at work. its not a raise or anything, but it shows that my manager doesnt hate me, i guess. i get mor hours now, and im going to be exhausted by the end of the week. heres my schedule this week, starting with yesterday: Sunday: work 3-11 Monday: class 9-10,1-3, 6-930pm Tuesday: work 9-5 Wednesday: class 9-10, 1-3, work 4-9. Thursday: work 10-6 Friday: class 9-10, 11-12 saturday: work 930-3 so as of 6pm thursday, ill be able to breathe. im exhausted from last night, and just hope i dont fall asleep in class tonight, and can wake up tomorrow morning. i like it more than what i was doing before i moved. today, i observed a 1st grade class for my first class.the principal didnt recognize me, but she was one of the people who got me into cheerleading in the 7th grade, knows my aunt jill, and shes in the store constantly. so i went up to her before i left and just said my name, and then told her i was jills niece. she freaked out because ive changed so much. i like hearing that. i know how hard those years were for me, and im proud of who i am now. now i have yet another connection in the teaching world :)