Someday Love Will Find You Current mood: confused Category: Life ok, so please excuse me if this is jumbled and doesnt make much sense. I'll probably come back and edit, I'm just trying to get my thoughts out. So, this past weekend was my 21st birthday, and it really couldnt have gone much better. I had so much fun, I love my friends. I went to Cushions, and yes, he was there, and yes we finally spoke after a month and a have of ignoring eachother. He bought me like 5 drinks that night, saved me from a trucker who was describing the meat packing plants he goes to, picked up my tab on Sunday night, and bought me a drink last night when I stopped up to watch the dart tournaments. Sunday night, me, brian, dave, and josh were really the only ones in the bar, along with his friend adam and another bartender, it was empty. after close, brian disappeared for a while and i went to look for him. he was crying. i have never seen him cry in the 6 and a half years ive known him. he had told me saturday he still loved me. anyways, back to sunday. he left without saying goodbye, and called me later that night. he doesnt remember this. we were both drunk, but i dont black out. (except me forgetting that he sang to me over the loud speaker...how i could forget that, i dont know...) anyways. we talked about how someone had told me he was seeing someone else, and along with his sister, he denied ever saying that. he also got upset and cried and told me how bad it hurt him that i thought he had cheated on me. he told me that if i knew everyone up at the bar, they would tell me how much he loves me. cortney had never met him before sunday night, and had hated him, because everytime i talked to her about him, things were going wrong. she never really heard about the good things, to be honest there wasnt all that much good to talk about...but regardless, she really liked him, shes like me, a good judge of character. i was talking to his siter and she told me shes never seen him like this. ever. never so upset. i really dont know what to think about all this, im not sure how to take all of this. hes 28, never met my dad, my dad HATES him, he cant even keep his car insured, his license is suspended again, he doesnt have a diploma or a GED for that matter. so whats so attractive to me? why cant i just walk away after all the things hes done? where do i go from here? i can tell you that we wont get back together anytime soon. he can pick up my tab all he wants, but its going to take more than that for sure. im not sure i want to be tied down right now....to anyone. let alone someone whos broken my heart how many times? is it really worth it?