I'm growing numb to the pain I'm being put through. Someday soon the tears will stop completely and they can do what they want with me. Someday I'll be stoic. Someday it won't matter. Why don't I love anymore? There's no one I truly want to be with. He's gone. She's gone. I'm wondering if there's a such thing as fate and whether or not everything I've been striving so hard to someday be and achieve is all worth it. Maybe I'm not what I keep telling everyone I am. Maybe I don't want something purely physical, to kiss and not mean it, have lust but no love. I don't even know anymore. I'm looking through people in a way I've never had before, had this courage I never knew was there... Are perhaps it's just that I'm not so afraid anymore. I might be alone this weekend. Should I be more dissapointed? Perhaps. Perhaps I'm PMSing or something but... Right now I just don't care. Rest easy. Your boyfriends are safe. There's nothing I want but a second chance at a new beggining.