So if this was any other week it would have sucked ass. However, this week started out different and ever since that, as shitty as things get, all I want to do is smile. It's kind of embarassing really to be getting to caught up in something so random but I guess I've wanted something to change for so long, not in me but in other people, that all I can do now is sit and watch things as they happen. My schedule's changed and having art two periods a day is so calming. I absolutly love watercolors. I'm even starting to like the painting I'm doing ninth period and the people in that class. Brenda has been treating me like crap all week, but really, when is this coming as new news? I guess it's getting to me less because I realize she isn't justified in doing it or taking out her bad moods on me. And here's something a little different... Just a little discovery: It's funny really, when you loosen your grip on something and stop worrying so much about losing your friendship, things go back to the way they were- and when I say the way they were, I mean back to how they began before this whole ordeal started. It's really such a great feeling to not be watching the clock anymore or worrying that I'll never be able to speak to my best friend again. In a way, the space has really mellowed me out. I just wish I could stop feeling like I'm doing something wrong. Making a new friend definatly brightened my mood significantly as well. I adore the long in depth conversations about anything and everything and anticapate having more of them. =) Not to mention I got some awesome CDs in the process. I feel so happy. I've actually had plans two weekends in a row that I'm excited about. So yeah, this is a really general update. I could say more but it would end up getting into really complex situations between people and right now I'm trying not to let the bad stuff sink in.