It was strange... I can't just -sleep- in the afternoon and evening. I wake up about every half hour just to look around at the clock and it's always early. I always get to sleep a little longer and always seem to wake up right on the hour. It's nice even- That the paranoia almost goes away and I can just shut my eyes but at the same time they don't stay closed long. It isn't look that in the morning. I fall asleep and nothing can wake me up. I lose track of time and what I'm doing. It isn't like that when I nap. Sometimes I just want one day where I can simply -sleep- and not worry about having to wake up at a specific time or making anybody happy, just one day. It's the same thing as how I want one day when I don't do anything for anybody else... I just do things for myself and have what I want in my arms. That would be the happiest day of my life. I dreamed about the happiest day of my life the other night... Maybe that's why I didn't get up on time. We could kiss and no one stopped as and I could make out the outline of that body and a smirk on face, hand fitting perfectly through mine. It didn't matter about the future, I wasn't thinking about it. Hell, I wasn't thinking past that moment when I saw a face and felt like for once, things were going to go my way. I miss the feeling I get when a shiver runs up my spine simply at seeing someone I care about's face. Is it so much to ask that I want to feel like that again? Funny... I already know the answer. It's not the feeling... It's who I want to feel it for. Maybe I'm in too deep again.