I find it funny that constipated wasn't on the list of moods to choose from. Damn, I had to pick my own face that looked constipated. Wow, I'm such a sick kid, huh? Wow, school is far too long. I can't stop looking at the clock and just wanting it to be over. I'm so weird with sticking to my strange little schedules of going to certain places at certain times. I'm all out of funk 'cause now I'm going back to the art room seventh periods so I can be done with the surrealism project. I already have an idea for the figure in a setting project. Perhaps it will be a late Christmas present for someone as it's a portrait of sorts. I don't even know what media I'll do but hopefully Mrs. Chianis will have some suggestions. I love that woman. As much as I'm going to miss Mr. Perkins, I'm really psyched that we're going to have such a cool art teacher. I don't feel like writing too much since I'm gonna finish up my math homework and take a little hour to an hour and a half nap before dance. (It's only an hour long class. Don't worry, kids) Heh. I have to shower at some point tonight too. I was so out of it today. I was probably scummy but I was freezing and had a sweatshirt and a scarf and my glasses and just kinda sat out and seriously went into a daze during gym class. Steph and I got into another stupid fight over my being OCD kid and her not minding her own damn business. She wouldn't talk/look at me all gym class. I sat and did nothing. Something like that used to make me cry... I don't cry anymore in school. I don't cry in front of people. I was saving it for when I turn in at night and can actually just let it all out. I can't even do that anymore. Nothing hurts the same way it used to. It's like I'm growing used to being lonely. I don't understand why I don't deserve someone to hold who'll hold me right back. I'm hated... I must be because no one loves or will ever love me unconditionally. Everyone finds someone and then they start complaining and expecting to much and not being a fair person in their relationships. People are selfish and fuck up the most beautiful and loving relationships because they can't accept other's differences or actually let their feelings out. Relationships have to include confiding in the person otherwise you lose out on a valuable part of the experiance.