I DON'T WANT TO BE SEXY OR CUTE. I DON'T WANT TO BE TOLD I'M GOOD AT SOMETHING OR THAT YOU CARE JUST BECAUSE I'M AN EMOTIONAL BASKET CASE. I DON'T WANT TO BE SOMEONE'S F.W.B. OR HAVE A PURELY PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP. I DON'T WANT A "NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT" RIDE. I DON'T WANT TO SEND "HOT" OR "NAKED" PICTURES TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE FEEL BETTER. To tell you all the fucking truth, I'm sick of completely being someone else's shoulder to cry on. I'm sick of hearing you all complain and then getting shit in my face when I add in my two cents. I'm sick of my journal entries being read and then re-read to my mother because some people think everything has to be over-dramatized. If any of you actually cared about me, you'd flat out say it... Or you'd make the time to see me or just give me a hug. I don't want rains of compliments. I don't want sympathy sex or to be told I'm "not fat" or how amazing I look. I don't want to be beautiful to someone in that way. I just want someone to give me back what I give to them. I want STRAIGHT answers. I don't want someone beating around the bush. I don't want to chase anyone around anymore. I don't DESERVE to chase people around when they honestly don't actually care about me and only have a conversation where they flatter me when they "feel like it" I'm sick of people only caring about me on their bullshit. It doesn't work that way. You all shouldn't turn on and off your charms. I'm sorry if you were having a bad day, but don't take it out on me. I could start counting the number of people who only listen to me when it's conveniant for them but I would be sitting here all night. It's not worth it anymore. But to a specific individual who has yet again made me feel like shit at a very bad time... I don't care how "hot" I am to you. I want a friend. Nothing more. I don't care about you in an emotional way. You were a dick to me. I have no reason to forgive you when it's continued for over a year. I want you to stop playing around with me and realize I actually have feelings and don't deserve to satisfy you physically. I'm not a whore or a playground. Decide that I'm going to be "your girlfriend for a week" again and your REAL girlfriend WILL be finding out. If you were really my friend, you'd stop using me. I don't care how many people I piss off by writing this. You're all too self absorbed to actually get it anyway. You can all kiss my ass because as of now, I'm through with taking everyone else's crap. I'll lose every friend I have if it means actually standing up for what I believe in. DO NOT try to tell me what I think. DO NOT try to tell me what I want or what I like. I'm finished with this. To the two people who I actually consider good listeners... People who haven't back stabbed me or completely talked over me... To Kat and Rachel. (Oh, and Mary because she's listened to me on numerous occasions and we don't even know eachother very well) This wasn't directed at you. To everyone else, feel free to take offense.