So sometimes you wanna stop being so "pretty" or stop being so "cute" to someone. Sometimes you don't want people complimenting the way you look in photographs and how your eyes are beautiful because they're 'just so', but they don't actually know how hollow your eyes really are and how empty you often feel when you're sitting their watching your life passing you by to the ticking of the wall clocks in every yellow-walled room. You're counting the minutes, the hours until those good times, those good experiances are going to happen, and yet by doing this, you're wanting the bad or just boring parts of your last to speed by all to fast. Stop for a moment and think what would happen if we fast-forwarded through the bad and even boring sections of our lives? What would be left? The epitomy of happiness would certainly never leave, however, wouldn't you be old faster? Wouldn't you have a short and quite honestly, uneventful life if it was all good experiances and happiness? That's what you want to tell yourself at times like this when you really don't see what's worth living for in the moment, and yet two days later, you've got everything to live for and the people you care about the most all all around you. Childhood problems like scraped knees and having to wear shoes from the teacher's spare rack when you forget sneakers in gym just don't exhist anymore. Now if you forget your shoes and your gym pants, they tell you your grade will go down, but it really doesn't. You could play volleyball in your flip-flops for all they are... And nobody offers you a pair of crummy old spare shoes to serve a ball in. It's times like those when life doesn't seem so great. Something as trivial as shoes or suddenly realizing how much a papercut hurts because you haven't gotten one since you used contruction paper in elementary school seems so depressing, because it makes you think, what are we doing with our lives? Because sooner or later, after some undefined point, we just stop caring. People tend to stop caring about the little things and keep anticapating what's going to be better then that day... And then after that experiance, what will be better then that. But if you just hit pause and think about this all for just one minute, does that mean the only thing anyone is actually looking forward to is dying? Sometimes we take the aspect of going in slow motion for granted. *As you can see, I thought about what you said to me last night.