I'm major, I roar! I swear I'm not a whore! Guess what I've had going through my head for the past hour? Nnn... I miss seventh grade when someone getting fingered in science class was news of the day. We were all virgins and had no boobs. I miss chick flicks and even being a skank in size 11 jeans and extra large t-shirts. We had our own little clique and no one came between the montly crew. What the fuck happened here? Whoa is the day I'll take anything about a size 4 or pine over Mike Radi again. Everyone's changed so completely that looking back it seems like middle school was another world and this whole life that I want to pretend never happened while at the same time I miss the little dramas and I miss the friendships lost. Those were the days when I was still a bean pole and thought I had huge feet. Those were the days of sports bras and a time where I could leave the house without eyeliner. Mom wasn't up my ass about college and I doubt I knew how to cook grilled cheese. I had this whole life plan for myself and it never involved anything in it now. Seventh grade "Danielle" would kick my emo ass any day. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this... Or maybe I'd have to sit and stare and wonder who the hell I am. I know in a sense I'm thinner and better looking. Practically everyone is taller then me. Smalls are too large. I'm not afraid of physical pain anymore. I honestly hadn't expected this entry to be profound and maybe it isn't really. Maybe the changes we all went through are no big revolation and no new news. Somewhere in the back of my mind everything that leads up to now started then. Normal 13-year-olds don't obsess and pine when their female best friends don't call back. Aren't they supposed to fight back or say something when called a dyke? Maybe I've wasted an entry reminissing and saying how much things have changed when really it was inevitable. I always wanted to be prettier, smarter, shorter, bigger chested, have a cat, have a piercing, fall in love, be fought over, earn my dad's respect... I've done it all or it's about to happen and the point of the matter is that maybe I'm taking it for granted because now I want so much more. You realize it's not enough from all those days of wishing on a star to fall inlove and be loved in return. You should get specific with stars because whether or not there's mutual love, there's always going to be the other factors and obstacles in the way to overcome. Whether you're "pretty" or not, there's still the large chance you'll be dumped or cheated on. When you have all you want, you always want more. When you've got love, you always want that step securing it. Maybe it's not right for people to just keep wanting and wanting all their lives. Then again, if we didn't set these goals... What would we be living for?