God, I hate this depressing feeling... I hate the empty one and that weird feeling in my chest. It's like a hole that I can't swallow down, can't vomit back up, can't cut out of my body. It's driving me crazy that every thought leads back to this and how deep I've let myself sink. It's different though. No one is ever going to be able to understand. God does hate me and I don't quite understand why. I ' m g o i n g i n s a n e . Maybe it's just been another bad day. This year has been so empty. I think it's because I've given up trying to be close to people who only treat me like crap. AKA -almost- everybody I know. There are a couple acceptions and people I do really care about... But for the most part, I'm really closing myself off to most of the M-E population. Maybe Mom just made today even worse by practically crushing the one thing I've wanted. (No, not the Tuesday thing, morons) All I know is I'm getting a job and actually making some money. It's time to spread my wings. College is one year off and state schools just don't seem appealing. I'm so sick of everyone here. Isn't highschool old enough to stop backstabbing and hurting eachother?