I am so sick of having to hide how I feel about people. SO FREAKING SICK. It makes me feel like they dont care about me, no matter what they may say to my face. LIES. Maybe I should just fall for someone whose personality is like mine...*thinks* Hey! Austin is a lot like me. Maybe I should pull a ''Mariah''. Because its not like Dallan would really care all that much. Yeah, the stupid senior writes in his sitdiary about how sad he was when I decided to give up on him and then I felt so guilty. He wrote about how he was going to ask me to senior prom. So he writes about how he loves me and how I am the love of his life and how depressed he was that I gave up on him. Why couldn't I see that he was lying?! Guilt-tripping me. If I wasnt enough of a loser then, lets just add the humiliation of the whole band knowing I have feelings for Dallan and he's just being all like "Oh hey its a stupid little sophmore". He said things were going to change when we were in the same school. He said he was so excited that we were going to be in the same school. He broke up with me after one day together because he thought it would be easier when we were in the same school. Now when I try to talk to him he turns those blank, hooded eyes on me and its like nothing is there, like I'm not saying a thing. I guess I'm not even good enough to be his friend any more. At least I was good enough for him to be interested in at one point in time. There are rumors circulating around the band about how I feel about Dallan and how he's playing me. It must be true, else why would me be withdrawing from me? The stupid fool told me to my FACE that those were lies and that they werent true and that he loved me. HOW does he have the gall to face me when I know he's lying?! What does he think I am, a complete idiot? What does he think he is going to gain by this? Not me I hope, because I could be long gone before he realizes his mistake. I must have never been good enough for him.