GAAAAH! I can't believe school starts in like...two days! Me and Dani are going to go get our hair cut tomorrow. I'm kind of jealous of her, she got a 1999 VW Bug for her 17th birthday. Anyways. Not the point. I'm kind of grumpy. I texted Jordan tonight to see if he wanted ot come hang out with me once I got off work, and he never texted back. I'm so sick of being told that he likes me when he doesn't ever hardly act like it. I mean, seriously. If he *thinks* he likes me then he should at least kind of show it. Wow, that sounds really familiar to my romatic history. I mean, Landon, Josh, Kimber, who else? Oh yes. Now Jordan. Right. So I'll stop complaining about stupid boys. Now I'll just...vent about my little heart wrenching moment that I forgot to write about last week. I saw Kimber. Twice. In one day. End of story. Okay, not really. The first time he was alone, the second time he had Taci with him. I hate that I can't get over him. I hate that I can't get him out of my mind and I HATE that I can't stop thiking about him. It's ridiculous. He's not talking to me anymore, supposedly on Taci's orders. Who knows. I don't know what's going on with that. Tony says that Kimber misses talking to me, but even if he does, it's not like he's finding a way to talk to me. I was the biggest reason Kimber was sober this time last year. He said he loved me. How naive I was. I believed him.... And here I am, nine months later. He's still not talking to me, and I can't keep him off my mind. But here's the question I keep asking myself: did I really ever love him or do I just want him because I can't have him? I don't think it's the second, I believe it's the first. But who am I to tell? Me, who has never really been in love? I know I've felt the same way about him since I first met him. He has these beautiful eyes and amazing smile that just draw you to him. He's so caring (the reason he's still with Taci is because they had a daughter together and he won't just up and leave his daughter, nor is he just going to leave Taci alone with her). He's someone I know I can trust with anything because he doesn't judge. He feels that since he's done so many things he probably should have that he has no room to judge anyone. He trusted me, and I trusted him. We talked about everything, he used to say that he would change everything and go on a mission and all that, that he would want to change his life so that he could be with me. He always told me that he didn't deserve having me care for him the way I did. Maybe it was the other way around. I don't know. All I know is that I can't stop thinking about him or caring about what's going on in his life. I miss him so much. It doesn't seem fair. But then again I guess life isn't supposed to be fair.