i no longer exist in my house... nope. this is jason and my moms house not mine. jason says he will take my room.i told him to leave me alone when i was in my room and he said he had every right to be in there and bug me. so we meaning my mom and i are riding in the car and before i start listening to loud music she says... did you know. me-what? rick is moving in. me-What? why? well its only for a month...me-where will he sleep? sams room probably. its only for a month though. there is another reason im going to be in my room all the time.i dont want to be around anyone sure i will sit around with my mom but its only every once in a while... i mean its only every once in a while when shes here and its just her. so i sat there with her. then rick showed up then jason showed up then wade showed up. i am non existing here i walk out to the kitchen hoping maybe mom will say something but its never her. so i slowly walk back into my room.i hate being out of it. i feel as if everyone is watching me and talking about me, if i sit quietly in my room and not exist noone will ever notice me. is that what i want... no. its not. but what choice do i have. sit outside and listen to people that talk about being drunk all the time and not having money. they are stupid they need lives. it shows how much i will succeed in my life. they can sit there and waste theres but when im old enough to get out of this place. i will exist. i wont sit inside myself. ive never felt so alone.