everything has changed and now i am here in redwing with my mom and all that is running through my head right now is what happens when i go back... i go back to an insane cheap father and no money, no nothing... i feel really bad for some of my friends like i dont feel like iv shown myself to them but i never show myself fully to anybody because the only one that will know and fully understand is me im in debt 40$ from borrowing from friends i almost want to like cry about that... cause i dont know what to say to them i keep thinking that in their minds im just a lazy broke mooch.. but the truth is iv been working hard to get a job like truly i have and obviously i cant get one till im 16 and my dad doesnt understand that because he would rather i work for him and hardly get anything out of it at all since he ripped me off last summer. he never wants to spend a penny on me because he needs it someday. i have to do "shifts" for him at the house which is incredibly rediculous since i dont get anything for that either he even told me that i couldnt use my blanket unless i had the time and money to bring it to a laundromat... really? what the fuck is wrong with you is something not right in your head have you completely lost it<> I just want something to come out of my life i want to be known for something or atleast be able to change something and holy shit it seems like life is way too long. typing and writing is extremely more easy to say what i have to say... uh so here it is the world is falling on me and every day the weight is getting much and much stronger. almost to the point where i want it to crush me.