i am no longer a person.... what am I. why is everything just ripped out of my head. something little that happens freaks me out. I get so sad that I no longer can feel worrying about shit that shouldnt have to be dealt with. The twilight zone, Im all alone and its crazy. I ventured off and now Im lost. what are you going to do about it... not shit. The thought of living no longer phases me im so bored with my life and I just know its still going to suck every morning I wake up. I thought I was loved I gave myself to you and you took that chewed it up and spit it out you said you loved me. I still hate living with that. I hate society. I hate people. When you become a part of someone and they use you. Just throw me away... how ... how could you its just this fucked up world And I just build this all up I just hold it all in I let you drag me down all of you do. The truth is your getting rid of me. just like the animals your putting me in a whole fucked up place of bad memories and You know that my back is constantly in pain I was afraid and I jumped You know I should never have to be scared of someone thats meant to love you but you always hurt the ones you love. the ones you should never hurt at all. im singled out im seen as a drug addict whatever then call me that. your a gambling addict. your a workaholic.and him. He is a Bipolar Psycho. and you... you just laugh at everything that happens not really saying what the truth actually is. And you know.. I called him today i Havent really spoke to him in 3 months and i left a voicemail.. my phone is ringing... but its never him. I feel like just going off live with whomever i meet far away starting over and actually just forgetting EVERYONE. EVERYTHING. and be someone Im not it may not sound sane but I dont feel like I can be "sane" for much longer. Losing my head my thoughts my dreams my memories and wanting to shatter it all I want to fight really bad Im so full of rage Can i just explode Please just hand me something a nice break there is no home for me no place where I am wanted just turn out the lights and tell me that theres more then this. let me slip away into... this lifes getting old I hate every inch of myself I never will be what you want I have nothing to prove except im still alive now. and you cant forget that i still can hurt I do not know of what comes next this place shattered who I am. and everything that I see is repeating in my head all of myself is nothing anymore. I have no mean no existence without a reason. maybe its because you. Im rambling but there is noone that will listen